Sep 12, 2012

death to the Diary.

Yes, it's true. The Diary is dying. I am retiring it.

I've gone on quite a journey with the Freakish Diary, and I have seem my life change before my eyes.

I will still blog, though. I'm starting a new blog called Fighting with Lindsay, about my characters.

please come visit me there.



Sep 10, 2012

I have a stomach ache and I'm pretty sure it's from the on campus food.

my life thus far

So I've been really bad about writing this summer. Here's a rundown:

1. Spheal and I are fine... but miss each other terribly

2. I'm teaching three nights a week at two studios, for a total of 7 classes, plus my own classes which I take and give to myself. yay!

3. I've also gotten my jump-rope stamina up to a few minutes rather than twenty seconds. Now I'm working on prolonging the higher heart rate.

4. Mom and Fish came to visit for a weekend... that was fun, but very tiring. 

5. Dad might come and visit us some time this semester. I do miss him, and I am looking forward to it, but I also sort of dread it. It's not that I don't love him, it's just that some of his actions towards me have made me irritated with him lately.

6. I still like lists just as I did before

7. I still hate the joke that is campus dining, this time more than before

8. I want so badly to dance and write and craft all day, but I have stupid school to worry about.

9. I've lost enough weight to fit into the vintage dress I bought at an antique store this summer, but not enough for it to be comfortable. Got a few more pounds to lose. Of course I don't know how much I weigh, because I got rid of my scale due to my constant fixation on my weight. (aka I left it at  home)

10. I can't express to anyone how badly I want to see my Spheal right now. Last night I simply burst into tears because I miss him so much. I'd do just about anything to sit with him, see his smile, hold his hand. Forget the rest. I just need to be there with him, but he's six flipping hours away.

c'est la vie, i guess.

here's to shitty cereal and chicken patties with a side of wheat germ,


this warrants a "wtf?"

we started off dancing. 

One of my students was there. she was doing so well. we were all dancing, and then suddenly, the ground was shaking, and we heard a terrible sound, like giant footsteps. For some reason I was holding a baby.

then the building crashed in around us.  a giant ugly monster wanted the baby's eye lashes. then the baby and I changed from people to planets. the huge dino-monster tried to blow us up.

suddenly it was as if I was playing a videogame and was outside of it all. my mom was trying to teach me how planets can explode or be absorbed. then we were talking about life expectancy, and she wanted me to live for a long time so she gave me some pills. the first set made my heart bigger, the second set gave me more blood, the third set made me grow, etc. finally i felt sick and said something along the lines of "i'm tired of this experiment, I understand lifespan, can we call it quits?" and she was like "oh fine." so I went to the bathroom and forced myself to throw up, but I couldn't. the last thing I remember thinking before waking up was "I really shouldn't have eaten Jupiter."

Sep 9, 2012

Went to an audition for nutcracker. It feels so hopeless. I will never be who I want to be... Not until heaven. Then I can dance.

Aug 9, 2012

Got the teaching job I wanted, but left my computer cord there. spheal and I spent a great week together. School starts in a week. Can't wait! Senior year!

Aug 6, 2012

Got a gorgeous new phone. It brings me great joy. Its $100 full price but the guy gave it to me for $30 because they were out of the one I wanted :p

Jul 31, 2012


my period came early.

I have a yeast infection.

my lymph nodes in my neck and chest are swelling up and I don't know why, but it hurts to swallow and I can't turn my neck.

and today I strained my back.

I owe my university money but I can't figure out how, when, or where to pay it and if I don't do it by tomorrow they'll drop all my classes.

and I miss my boyfriend.


the good news is I just got paid, and it was a good hefty amount! the bad news is it'll probably all be gone by the time I have to go back up to school…

Jul 27, 2012

New favorite treat: sundried tomato bagel with cream cheese from DD.

Jul 24, 2012

Refilling a RX shouldn't be this complicated.

Jul 23, 2012

Just read for two hours from three different books because every time i started reading, it was sad. Tonight is just a bad night for light-hearted reading!

Jul 21, 2012


  1. I suck at blogging lately because I don't have internet where I'm living.
  2. my plans changed and my ballet camp got canceled so I spent a week with spheal instead, during which we made a few major changes to our relationship.
  3. I'm working for my dad again… and I swear this is the last year I will do so. it's been one week and I already want to kill someone. and I'm not even living at the house!
  4. I'm crocheting a sweater. I finished the sleeves yesterday. today I'm going to put it together and tomorrow I'm going to wear it to church…
  5. Sunday, Spheal is coming to visit for the day. I can't wait!!!!
  6. I have a yeast infection and I WANT TO KILL SOMETHING. GAH. also I can't use the cream because it hurts my skin. stupid sensitive skin.
  7. I'm going into carb  withdrawl because mom is on a diet that's mostly protein, while I as a dancer need to eat mostly carbs. it's difficult. my head hurts. I'm feeling sluggish.
  8. I might have another dancing job opportunity. updates soon.
  9. my class schedule is finally getting cleaned up because my professor is finally emailing me back.
  10. my intenship is almost finished. just some paperwork I have to do.

now I'm off to work to clean and paint and stuff… and hopefully my headache will go away soon :(

Jul 16, 2012

Back with the fam. Worked out @ the gym w/ my mom today... She has more endurance than i do right now

Jul 14, 2012

Ahhhh summer break. Ive spent the past week (since tuesday morning at 3am) with spheal. Its been awesome. :)

Jul 7, 2012



so yesterday my phone decided to go off at 5am. I coulnd't go back to sleep, so I just got up and watched Season 3 of Two Best Friends Play.

about 3:30 exhaustion and cramps hit me like a rock and I took a 3-hour nap. when I woke up, I'd started my period. (which I'd expected due to the cramps and the fact that I was on the white pills on my BC but still, it kind of pissed me off).

after dinner I was in pain but didn't have any meds so I lay on my back on  my pilates mat in a yoga position. that helped A LOT.

then I skyped Spheal.

then I went to bed and slept for 10 hours.

now I need more coffee  -_-


Jul 3, 2012

a few things


  1. Friday I went to Spheal's house and surprised him for the weekend. It was so awesome.
  2. My internship has flown by! I'm on my last week.
  3. I'm writing again. It's wonderful.
  4. I dyed some yarn. with Kool-Aid. It was fun!!!
  5. I learned how to crochet socks! Working on a pair right now for the etsy shop.
  6. we're having a thunderstorm
  7. my car's AC still doesn't work, so I got sunburnt today while driving home and keeping the windows open trying to stay cool.
  8. I really really REALLY want to dye more yarn. IT'S SO MUCH FUN.
  9. I need some chocolate.
  10. my lotion came in the mail… hopefully my skin won't burn up when I put it on.

Jun 28, 2012

I am so excited

for tomorrow




I'll tell you why tomorrow :D


so here's the thing… there are two kinds of people: the people who sit around and pray about things, and the people who jump in.

I'm not saying it's wrong to pray about something, like a decision or an idea or whatever, but I've learned that God answers those prayers by either opening or closing doors. He doesn't just make it happen for you.

just thoughts.

Almost friday...

Jun 26, 2012


I want to start a revolution

a revolution that proves that dancers don't have to be anorexic: they can just be healthy.

Problem: I'd have to actually be somebody first.

and I'll never go much more forward in dance than I already am.

stupid world.

Jun 22, 2012

I only wanna be with you…

I don’t know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
’cause you’ve started something
Oh, can’t you see?
That ever since we met
You’ve had a hold on me
It happens to be true
I only want to be with you
It doesn’t matter where you go or what you do
I want to spend each moment of the day with you
Oh, look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this
It’s crazy but it’s true
I only want to be with you
You stopped and smiled at me
And asked if I’d care to dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn’t stand a chance
Now listen honey
I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we’re together, honey, I don’t care
’cause you’ve started something
Oh, can’t you see?
That ever since we met
You’ve had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
Oh, oh, you stopped and you smiled at me
And asked if I’d care to dance
I fell into your open arms
And I didn’t stand a chance
Now hear me tell you
I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we’re together, honey, I don’t care
’cause you’ve started something
Oh, can’t you see?
That ever since we met
You’ve had a hold on me
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
I said no matter, no matter what you do
I only want to be with you



Jun 20, 2012

There are people in the house.... Must... Escape...

Jun 19, 2012

Procrastnating going back where there is a wasp upstairs by my door... Also there will be people there and i suck at dealing with people. I need some sweet tea.

Jun 16, 2012

Old people are annoying... If youre going to drive a fancy red sportscar at least drive the speed limit.

Jun 15, 2012

Yay they finally gave me some stuff to do!

Jun 14, 2012

Found a coffee shop. Live is good.

Jun 13, 2012

Accidently broke the internet... Oops.


I'm 119 pounds. I'm a size 2. why do I feel fat?

-_- stupid emotions.

Jun 10, 2012

My rental car doesnt let me plug in my gps... Great.

Jun 8, 2012

End of week 1!

So I've just finished the first week of my internship. I haven't had a lot of blog time. So here's a quick run-down:

Day 0: Sunday—move-in day. I got here Sunday, met my employer, moved into my room, and met a few people. My room is the top floor of the commons cabin (where everyone eats and makes phone calls and has internet access). while I was moving in a wasp came into my room. freaked me out. I went to bed covered in blankets so it couldn't find me because I heard a buzzing at my window all night long.

Day 1: Monday—do-nothing day. also, I woke up and discovered that the buzzing at my window was a mayfly caught between the glass and the screen. I felt dumb.

My employer—We'll call him James—said he wanted me to get acclimated to the area. So I sat around my room and worked on some knitting/crocheting projects, and I explored the town a little. it's really cute. I found the Walmart and I got some food. I made some lentels and ate some leftover rice I found in the fridge.

Day 2: Tuesday—started work. met with James, reconciled some bank statements, and edited the newsletter.

Day 3: Wednesday—I wrote a speech that will introduce people to the facility I'm staying at. James liked it.

Day 4: Thursday—James was out of town, so I didn't do anything today except hang around.

Day 5: Friday (today)—hung around until 12, when I went into town to drop off a basket of stuff for the people to whom we're giving the speech on saturday. then I worked on emailing people for James.

then I set the table (because I felt like it) and went to Ingles to get some food for this weekend (because I want to eat healthy).

Now I'm sitting outside smelling really yummy food while (Cook is cooking).

Also: My car is totaled. sad days.

Jun 4, 2012

Bugs. I hate bugs.

Jun 3, 2012

On the road again…

I'm about to get on the highway and head out of state to get to my internship (in Georgia. that's all I'm telling you). I'm swo excited!!! and a bit nervous. I'm low on money. I have $34 to hold me over until June 8th when my financial aid comes in. The place I'm staying only feeds you once a day four times a week. So I'll be living on potatoes and rice and frozen peas.

But I'll be okay. Because God takes care of me every single time.

Please pray that I trust God! That's the only thing I need to focus on right now is trusting Him.

I'll have to tell you all my rental car story later… it was a bit of a disaster :P


Breakfast downtown is always a treat. Im getting pancakes ^^

Jun 2, 2012


May 27, 2012

Why do i have to get hungry every day??

May 26, 2012

There is no food in this house.
There is no food in this house.

Take My Paws project

So there's this hymn I grew up singing called "Take my life" and one of the verses says "Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of Thy love."

And it's no secret that I love kitties.

It's also obvious that you knit and crochet with your hands.

Which is why the ministry I'm starting is called Take My Paws. I've been knitting like a mad-kitty (<--- haha, see what I did there?) and making stuff to donate instead of sell.

What I'm going to do is make hats, scarves, cowls, baby blankets, mittens, and anything else I can make, and donate them. That's it. just give them away to people who need them.

I'll also be collecting them from other people if you want to contribute. I'm working with another girl from my on-campus ministry who is doing the same thing.

So if you want to make stuff to donate or send yarn (which is obviously appreciated since we wouldn't have to buy yarn to make stuff for people) email me at and I'll send you all the info you need.

And if you can't help physically, please pray that God will give me the opportunity to serve Him with my talents and open doors to make things, give things away, and teach other people to do the same.


oh by the way

I got in a car accident.

it was very small. I thought I'd blogged about it but I checked and I guess not.

this orf plowed right into me (he had a stop sign and went before he saw me) so now the front drivers headlight of my car is distroyed.

I'm getting a rental to go to my internship while the car gets fixed. but thus far I haven't been able to get through to the rental place.


anyway. here are pictures.


again, we were both fine. his insurance is taking care of it.

just though I'd let you know since I briefly mentioned it in my last post.

Habits, novels, and coffee shops

The thing about habits is they take a long time to make and once you’re in them you like them, but they’re really easy to get out of.

Good habits, I mean. Bad ones are the opposite.

This time last year I was sitting exactly where I am sitting right now: I was sitting in a coffee shop. I was also doing exactly what I’m doing right now: I was writing. The difference is last year I got somewhere, this year I feel like I’m a dog chasing its tail.

Last summer I wrote a 60K word novel in three weeks, read tons of books, and taught art camps. this year I am getting up at 11 (because that’s when my alarm goes off to remind me to take my medicine) and I’ve written about four sentences, and read a half a novel. I’ve crochet-ed (is that a word?) a lot of things for donation (I still haven’t come up with a name for my ministry) and planned my art camp, but haven’t gotten around to making the samples yet.

I’m trying not to stress though, because I have an internship in a few weeks, and I need to get my wrecked-car back in shape. My novel is sort of on the back burner.

But not for long. Because I’m making a change.

From now on my schedule will be:

  • Wake up at 6
  • Pilates, PT, jump rope, and stretch
  • Go to a coffee shop (the one I’m in now, because their coffee is AMAZING and only a buck fifty in your own cup) and work on my novel!
  • Go to the library (just around the corner from the CS) and work on schoolwork and crafty stuff
  • Do whatever else I have to do that evening.
  • Go to bed early.

(you can mix in talking to Spheal whenever I get cell service.)

at least that's the plan.

Starting Monday. since today is Saturday, and tomorrow is church.

I miss Spheal like mad.

also last semester at school my Zune got stolen. yesterday my paycheck came in, and I found a zune on amazon for really cheap. so I got it.

I CAN'T WAIT. mostly because my CD player in my car ruins cds. now I'll be able to listen to music and audiobooks without worrying about my stupid car.


here. have a cute picture of penguins in sweaters.

May 23, 2012


I had a bad dream last night. It was really scary... I dreamed I was married to somebody, and I had a baby and the guy didn't want the baby so he said he was going to kill it, so I hid it, and then he found out, and he was chasing me to try and find my baby. I grabbed a knife and I was ready to kill him to save the baby. he started running towards me.

that's when I woke up.

I turned on the fan in the bathroom so it wasn't so quiet when I tried to go to sleep.

I miss Spheal.

May 21, 2012

This weekend

This weekend I went to Spheal's apartment and picked him up, and took him to my parent's house. We visited with my grandparents on Saturday, and then left Sunday at about 10:30

My grandma gave me something really special: she gave me the watch her father gave her on her eighteenth birthday. It's really pretty, and it still works. I want to make a new band for it that matches the design, because the band right now is just a black strap and it's broken. But I fix and make jewelry all the time. it'll be a piece of cake.

The funny thing is I've actually been wanting a watch for a while. I'm sort of compulsive about time, and I like to know what time it is in class. but I can't check my phone in class! duh. so yeah.

I'll post a picture when I fix it. :)

Another project I want to do this week is make a seat cushion for my car. I lost circulation in the bottom half of my body about 4 hours into the drive… that was annoying. Also it's impossible for me to sit up straight in my car because of the angle of the seat—unless there's a pillow or something behind my back. so I'm going to take care of that eventually.

I also started another crochet afghan. I think I'm going to make it a full size one, and do little flowers or blue-birds on the plain squares. I'll sell it or donate it or something.

and I'm working on a baby sweater. it's purple and white. swo cute!

and I'm decorating a tutu for one of my students.

I miss spheal. a lot.


Today I worked out finally!

and I feel awesome. This needs to be a regular thing.

Pilates: Hundreds, warm-up rolls, kick-overs, abs series, side series, swan, planks, plank pushups (5 of them…), teaser 1, teaser 2, seal

PT: hamstring curl, Hip ADduction, Hip ABduction, theraband exercises with ankles

Other: some arm pt, tennis ball in my shoulders

Jump Rope: none

May 15, 2012

Pray for me

I've been thinking a lot about God and money and stuff. I'm negative in my account right now (not sure how that happened, I usually keep really good track). I've been trying to sell stuff on my etsy shop like mad, but nothing is coming of it.

So I'm switching gears. I'm going to take a leap of faith and go back to my original plan: make baby clothes and donate them. for free. zero profit.

I know God will take care of me, and I know He'll bless me. I just have to have the faith to do it.

So here we go.

May 14, 2012

must. have. coffee.

so yesterday I got up early for church and went out to breakfast. It was a bit pricey, but it was worth it: coffee and pancakes and eggs. yum! That place is on my favorites list.

Today I got my microwave out of storage (did I mention they don't have a microwave? how do you not have a microwave?) and plugged it in in my room. I started to heat up some water, but the microwave, the heater, and my computer combined blew a fuse. so now I have no electricity in my room until I either a) find the fuse box and fix it or b) confess my sinful microwave.

I refuse to give up my sinful coffee-drinking ways. Not yet, anyway.

I went to school and asked for an advance on my financial aid. Our system is retarded. They credit the financial aid to your account for like three weeks before they deposit it into your account (which takes another week). I have my textbook: I need the money now, and I need it for gas and food (coughcoffeecough). Anyway now I'm waiting for my advance to be approved.

I'm supposed to go home this weekend and visit my grandparents. I'm going to swing by and pick up Spheal. I miss him terribly.

Dad said he'd give me gas money for the trip. but I think he's planning on giving it to me on the way back… which means my paycheck I get on Thursday has to go directly into the tank. unless of course my advance gets approved.

being an adult is complicated.

also being paid only sixty dollars a week is complicated. that's why I have an etsy shop. which, btw, you should go look at.

May 12, 2012

Welcome to the summer adventure 2012!

I left Spheal's house at 8:15-ish yesterday morning, took the drive nice and easy, and then got into town at around 3. I went to my campus to the gym, took a shower, and went to picture day at my ballet studio. (I needed to have a staff picture taken.)

Then the studio owner (and my host for the next three weeks) took me and the photographers out to dinner for mexican, where I had a yummy quesadilla with extremely hot vegetables on it that I had to scrape off because I thought I was going to die there for a while.

Back at her house I met her dog Lassie (guess what kind of dog it was), her baby long-hair dashound named Kara (a vegan knock-off of chocolate, because the puppy is chocolate brown) and her hypo-allergenic cat named Grace. I have my own room in the basement (it's freezing, but they put a heater in here for me), and it's right next to the play room.

that's where her two kids are right now.

One is nine, I think the other is seven or six. they're both adorable, but they're definitely energetic. they're playing the drums and screaming singing right now.

also: they're vegan. which is awesome because they eat ONLY healthy stuff. and that's exactly what I need right now.

although I do really like cheese. Luckily the kids are only vegetarian and haven't taken the leap towards vegan yet.

I think I'm going to like it here.

Also: they drink tea. downside: they don't drink coffee.

I LIVE ON COFFEE. so I'm going to have to go to my storage unit and get my french press.

today we're going to the park for a picnic. the kids want to play Frisbee with me.

May 9, 2012

I leave tomorrow…

Tomorrow evening I go back to Spheal's house, and the morning after that I leave for school again. Not really school though, I'll be in the area and doing an online class, but I won't be living on campus.

I'm looking forward to the solitude and the peace. Lots of time to crochet baby clothes to donate, lots of time to work on my novel, listen to audiobooks, and do my online homework (which is a lot of reading and watching video clips and listening to online lectures).

I'll miss Spheal a lot though…

My grandparents come in tomorrow. I'll see them in passing. I'm going home an extra weekend to see them too… not really looking forward to all that driving.

nice and peaceful. yeah, that sounds nice.

May 6, 2012

out of pure curiosity…

how many people actually read this blog??


man that was a long week.

I don't even remember everything that happened. my British literature exam was three essay questions. I wrote for like an hour and fifteen minutes straight.

I passed all my classes though (Including French, thank God) and now I'm chillaxing at Spheal's house (aka John. New nickname. Also new picture of him…with a skiddy on top).

Yeah I gave Spheal the name John because I didn't know how important he would become at the time. So John is officially Spheal now.


and apparently I'm a skiddy. so yeah.


also, my summer semester starts tomorrow.


So here's the plan:

On Friday I'm going back to my university for my summer term, and for work. I'm living at my employer's house (we'll see how that works…)

then about a week later I'm going back to my parent's house to visit the grandparents and I'm taking Spheal with me.

then I go back to school/work.

then I go to my internship.

then I go back to work.

then I go back to work at my parent's house!

then I go back for the fall semester of school!

don'tcha wish your schedule was as tight as mine?

say no.

ttyl it's cuddle time. yay.

May 2, 2012

You know you've gone too long without a shower when you start dreaming about dandruff....
Ahhhhhhhhhhh I hate finals... Remind me to describe this week for you guys. Not week. Oh man do I need a vacation.

Apr 26, 2012

The pros and cons to waking up at 6


  • you get more done in the morning
  • you feel refreshed because you're used to getting up early and going to bed early
  • it's quiet
  • it's healthier for your body


  • You physically can't stay awake past midnight, which can be annoying when you know the only way you're going to get everything done is if you pull an all-nighter.

so, this is why, as much as I love getting up early, I'm going to have to train myself to sleep in and stay up late from now on. because this isn't working.

at least until I graduate.

Apr 24, 2012


I figured out a way to apply my eye-makeup without it burning my eyes out…

I mix the powder with my saliva and paint it on.

I know it's really gross.

but it works.

sorry, don't listen to anything I say until May 5th, because I'm going to be absolutely insane until then.

Apr 23, 2012

This week (and next week) at FD

This week: the last week of school.

Next week: finals.

Suffice it to say, I'm going to be scarce.

katnis exams

That is all.

Apr 18, 2012

Skipping makeup today... We're allowed to skip one. I'm skipping emergency room because I'm allergic to spirit gum and nose putty... ess

Article Response: Jesus, the church, and homosexuality

One of my facebook friends posted an article to his profile. He usually posts interesting stuff, so I checked it out. I found that the article he'd posted was wrong about a few things.

And see, this is why the Bible talks about those who are willingly ignorant, and those whose eyes are not open so they can't understand. When I read the Bible, I understand it. When they read it, they take the letter of the law and try to explain it—and they generally get it wrong.

{my notes will be italicized in brackets}

10 Things I Wish The Church Knew About Homosexuality

1. If Jesus did not mention a subject, it cannot be essential to his teachings. {Yes, He did, actually. Consider again that first, Jesus is part of the trinity, and God strictly prohibits homosexuality.}

2. You are not being persecuted when prevented from persecuting others. {Not sure what this sentence means, actually… I think there's a typo. But here's the thing about persecution: If a true and honest Christian meets a homosexual, they aren't going to try and convert them or condemn them. They're going to befriend them. That's what Jesus would have done. The fact that many Christians are not only homophobes but also just avoid homosexuals shows how sin still effects Christians. We aren't perfect: we just know the standard. That doesn't mean we always meet it.}

3. Truth isn’t like wine that gets better with age. It’s more like manna you must recognize wherever you are and whoever you are with. {I'm not sure what this has to do with anything… But I think it's saying that truth is relative, or maybe that sometimes it isn't clear. This is true. This doesn't mean homosexuality is right. This isn't even an argument. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but seriously? If you're going to write an article about why Christians should accept homosexuals, at least make your points points!}

4. You cannot call it “special rights” when someone asks for the same rights you have. {of course not. But we have the right of marriage and of accepted love because we're doing it the way it was supposed to be done.}

5. It is no longer your personal religious view if you’re bothering someone else. {this is just outright incorrect. My views bother people—that's the way Christianity works. We're the salt of the earth. Ever pour salt on an open wound? Notice how it hurts like hell but it disinfects? That, right there, is Christianity and an example of Christ cleaning our nasty hearts. Our culture has gone beyond tolerance, and has re-defined the term to mean "acceptance." We have the freedom of religion, NOT the "freedom not to be offended or bothered."}

6. Marriage is a civil ceremony, which means it’s a civil right. {Wrong again: Marriage is a Holy covenant with God—even if the couple isn't saved. God created the covenant, and He says "A man shall leave his father and become united with his spouse." "One man and one woman." Those are God's rules for HIS covenant. We'd better respect that. I can't stop you from sleeping together or living together. That's fine. But it isn't marriage. Even if the government says it is: In God's book (and He's the one in charge) all you're doing is fornication.}

7. If how someone stimulates the pubic nerve has become the needle to your moral compass, you are the one who is lost. {I'm sorry, what? how does this relate to anything? did you run out of ideas to make it to ten?}

8. To condemn homosexuality, you must use parts of the Bible you don’t yourself obey. Anyone who obeyed every part of Leviticus would rightly be put in prison. {M'kay. First of all, we aren't under the old law anymore. Old testament, old covenant, old and fulfilled requirements. It's still a sin, but we don't have to do anything about it except love people like Jesus loved them. Second: It's not our job to condemn people. That's not what we do. That's God's job. Third: God doesn't just talk about homosexuality in Leviticus. He talks about it everywhere.}

9. If we do not do the right thing in our day, our grandchildren will look at us with same embarrassment we look at racist grandparents. {This is true! This has nothing to do with your argument, but this is true. "The right thing" is a bit vague, don't you think? My "right thing" would be making homosexual marriage illegal in all states. They can get a "civil union" or a "domestic partnership" or whatever, but it's not marriage. Your "right thing" would probably make it legal. Now I'm not talking about relative truth, just differing opinions.}

10. When Jesus forbade judging, that included you. {Also true. Again, nothing to do with your argument, since God judges homosexuals, and Christians simply love and serve them like they do everyone else.}

This article annoys the crap out of me, mostly because they try to sound educated and experienced about the Bible, when really they have no idea what they're talking about. If you're going to bash the Bible, at least do your research.

Then again, like I said before. Non-Christians can read the Bible all they want, but unless God opens their eyes, they won't understand it. So I can't blame the writer.

But I still hold to my opinion that it's annoying.

Apr 17, 2012

Ive eaten very poorly today... very poorly. I don't even want to admit how bad...

a letter to myself

Dear Em,

From now on, please start your homework assignments BEFORE the due-date. It will help you a lot in the long run.

Also: praise God for nice professors who extend your due-dates.


Emily from the future.

Apr 15, 2012

An answer to prayer

Just spent a good two hours talking with Jace.

Yeah, that Jace. Remember him?

First of all: totally over him. He's easy to be friends with now.

Second: he's so different! he doesn't' swear anymore. He's focused on Christ. He told me a story about how God's been communicating with him and showing Himself and making His plan clearer for him.

It makes me so happy. Because when I met him, he was different. And I'd prayed hard for him that he would become a true Christian. and now I'm very sure he is.

It just makes me happy.

Now he's getting his laptop and is coming back down to the commons room to sit with me so we can do homework together (neither of us really want to do much of anything).

Side-note: I met Jace in September of last year. And now I'm getting my answer to prayer. Sometimes it does take some time.


Thanks Jesus.

Apr 11, 2012

You learn something new every day... Today in makeup for theater class, i learned that i am allergic to spirit gum! MY LIPS ARE ON FIRE AHHHH!!!!!!!1

Apr 10, 2012

You know what sucks?

I'll tell you what sucks.

When you're one of the best dancers in the class, but nobody wants to partner you, so the teacher has to assign someone to dance with you for the final performance, and the whole time your boyfriend would KILL to be your partner.

that sucks.

I hate my ballroom class. The teacher doesnt know what shes doing and shes mean to my friends. I forgot about hw cuz its only once a week. & im tired :(
I forgot to eat today... Stupid.

Apr 9, 2012

spring break and starbucks

Got up at 6 like a good ballerina, but then decided that I didn't want to go to the gym because 1. it's cold outside and 2. my ankle is still a little sore from the sprain, and I need to dance this evening, so I'd better plan to save my strength for that.

so now I'm just sitting here waiting for starbucks to open so I can get some coffee and read my Bible and maybe read another book for a while as well. preferably the one I need to read for school before 1:30 today. yeah. should probably get on that.

spring break was awesome. I didn't write much over break, mostly because John was hanging out with me constantly (like we literally didn't leave each other's sides unless 1. we were sleeping or 2. he had to go to class.

which I really can't complain about because I adore the boy.


We got there Friday evening. I met his first cousin and his first cousin's wife ( who didn't seem to like me very much, for no reason in particular other than she was PMSing) and then Saturday the sweetheart brought me coffee when I woke up. I don't really remember what we did every day in particular, but essentially, we watched a lot of movies, sat on the couch and read Rage comics, went out to eat a few times, had a candle-lit dinner, played laser-tag and assassin's creed, and watched youtube videos.

just typical geek stuff.

3 more weeks of school. then I'm done. THANK GOD.

then summer starts.


last night I had a dream that I had a knife stuck in my chest and I couldn't take it out because it would kill me, and I couldn't get to the emergency room because Sis was in the car, and I couldn't call 911 because I didn't have a phone, and when I finally did have a phone, I couldn't find the 9.


Apr 5, 2012

Chilling at John's house. SPRING BREAK!!!!!!

Apr 2, 2012

Oday ouyay eakspay igpay atinlay?

oboh obof coborse nobot. ibi caban rebead ibit thobough, bebecaubause ibi habave dybislebexibiaba. ubi dubi? ohboh yebes. ibi abam abay mabasteber.

Ask me anything

Mar 29, 2012

Twilight or The Hunger Games?


Ask me anything

they say beauty is deep within. but they themselves don't notice it beyond the outer surface. what is your take on this? is it fair if in spite of internal goodness one gets lost in the crowd of glamour and shine? what else to do?

it's not fair. But one thing I've always believed, and still believe, is that to the people who matter and who i care about, it doesn't matter what i look like. My boyfriend always thinks i'm beautiful, even if my hair is unbrushed and my legs are unshaven and im wearing dirty clothes.

my parents love me no matter what i look like.

my friends? same thing.

so yeah it's annoying when i am having a good hair day or my jeans fit just right and then i walk into a store and see a copy of Cosmo and some girl has HUGE and totally PERFECT breasts and a really nice butt and perfect skin and i'm like "damn, why can't i look like that?" and then for the rest of the day i feel like crap. but that's just because i'm a girl, and that's part of the curse i think.

but it all comes down to this: to the people who love you, you will always be beautiful. and their opinion is the one you should be worried about anyway. :)

Ask me anything

Mar 20, 2012

I sprained my ankle. Any ideas of things to do? I'm bored out of my mind...

I sprained my ankle. Any ideas of things to do? I'm bored out of my mind...

Answer here

New Friends! Yay!

Jasmine and Marie are two girls in my Dance Anatomy and Ballroom Dance class.

Jasmine looks like Jasmine from the Disney movie (only she's not a slut).

Marie is…well… she's hilarious, a theater major, has a great sense of humor, and is totally obsessed with black or dark men. (we decided this is because she had a black doll as a kid instead of a Ken doll, because it was cheaper).

Neither of them are saved. They like me a lot, and invite me to do stuff with them, which is a weird new experience for me.

I'm working with Marie on our dance project. She'll be fun to work with.

Anyway, I'm hoping I get a chance to witness to them. Pray for them, and for me, that I won't be afraid.

As a side note, My African Lit teacher is letting us do an essay about a movie with african themes, and one of the movies she's letting us pick from is Curious George!


Stupdi is a word I made up (by accident). It means the same as stupid, but it's more of a silly kind of stupid.

Every trial has a reason and a lesson. I'm trying to figure out why God wanted me to sprain my ankle.

Possibly because I hate accepting things from people. I hurt myself because I didn't want to accept a ride home from Jasmine's boyfriend. Mind you, he was taking care of a sick drunk, and I thought it would be rude to leave his girlfriend alone with a guy who could throw up at any time, but still.

and now, I have one leg, and I'm screwed. I'm forced to accept people's help.

Or maybe it's something else. I don't know, I haven't figured it out yet. But I'm looking, because I feel like if I don't learn anything from this trial, it's a waste of my time.

Mar 19, 2012

Sprained mt ankle. Limp around on crutches. Arms are killing me. So tired of not walking. Exhausted from dumb crutches. Gahhhhh

Mar 17, 2012

your face

lol. best face ever.


Mar 14, 2012

I'm a little ticked off.

I'm a ballerina and an athlete. At the top of my form, I weigh about 120 pounds and have a 14% or less body fat percentage. I don't get my period regularly. When I do, I have mood swings.

And that's personal.

I choose to talk about it on this blog because 1) it's my blog and 2) I'm trying to make a point. so stick with me.

Arizona might pass a bill that says that women who work for employers who don't agree with Birth Control can fire their employees.

So here's what that means:

Say I work for an employer. That employer firmly believes that birth control is a sin, and that women who are using it so they can have sex without getting pregnant are sinning. (which, mind you, is totally unbiblical.) That employer could legally get the information me, ask me to get a doctor's note saying that I don't take it so I can have as much guilt-free sex as I want, and if I can't get that note,

he can legally fire me.

Their reasoning? it's against the employer's first amendment rights to his freedom of religion.

This is why it's wrong:

1. We have the freedom of religion, but not the freedom to impress our religion on other people.

Basically, that employer would be pushing is beliefs on her, and taking legal action against her because of it. That is unconstitutional.

2. We have freedom of speech, the press, and religion, but NOT the "freedom to not be offended."

If something offends you, I'm sorry! get over yourself. I go to college, I see crap that offends me all the time. I offend people all the time. They don't sue me.

3. She has freedoms too.

My mom—and my grandma, and my Criminal Justice teacher, and almost every other important person I've ever met—says "your rights end where mine begin." He can't take her rights away and step into her personal space just because he feels like it. the moment he throws away regard for her rights and her freedom, he looses privileges to his own.

So yeah. That's why I'm mad.

Note to self: never move to Arizona.

Mar 12, 2012

If you could wake up as anyone tomorrow, who would it be?

i would like to wake up as myself....

Ask me anything

Is your life more comedy or drama?

comedy, totally. i look at everything that happens to me as God giving me something to look back on and laugh about.

Ask me anything

Are you quick to forgive?

oh yeah.

Ask me anything

What's the secret to happiness?

be humble and trust.

Ask me anything

Do you like babies?


Ask me anything

Coffee or Tea?

BOTH! coffee in the morning, tea in the afternoon/evening. coca when it's christmas.

Ask me anything

Do you believe in God?

rofl. of course.

Ask me anything

Do you like horror movies?

NO. i couldn't even finish watching Jurrasic park!

Ask me anything

If you could go back in time 10 years and tell your younger self something, what would it be?

"Stop worrying, it'll all work out even better than you could have dreamed. it's funny, creative, and beautiful."

Ask me anything

Who and when was your first kiss?

:D John, sunday before Labor day this past year. we were sitting in the car (note; If you don't want to kiss a boy, don't sit in a car with him) and i kissed his cheek, and he turned his face one me :P then... we sort of made out. yeah. it was interesting. just fyi kissing is wayyyy awkward.

Ask me anything

Are you a good swimmer?

I actually hate swimming. the water presses on my chest and i can't breathe. also the chlorine hurts my skin, hair, eyes, and lungs.

Would you rather own a luxury yacht or a private jet?

neither. see my post below about politics.

Ask me anything

How loud do you prefer your music?

depends on what kind of music it is. classical: soft and quiet. God music: loud as possible.

Ask me anything

How to fix our country in 10 (not) easy steps

these steps are easier said than done. I understand that. But I've been thinking about this for a while, and although I'm not an expert, I just feel like ranting today.

basically, the government is doing some stupid things, we as people are doing stupid things.

so here are my thoughts.

do tell me what you think.

  1. stop buying things from China
  2. have the criminals in our system build factories (this will keep them busy and replace the factories from China)
  3. have the criminals build a wall around the USA so immigrants can't sneak in.
  4. Provide a way for illegal immigrants to become legal citizens. This process will include learning the language and passing a language test, sending the children to our schools, and the men over age 18 will serve in the military for 4+ years. Then they can become legal citizens and they will have earned their stay.
  5. the unemployed of America –not the criminals—can work in the factories. No experience required, and it will be a job that will give the experience required to get a new job.
  6. the government will get their hands out of our school systems. the schools will get a certain amount of money, and then the schools will have their own policies about EVERYTHING. also: parents can choose which school to send their kids too, whether or not they live nearby.
  7. teachers pay will be doubled, if not raised even more than that. the jobs will be more competitive, and our kids will actually get an education.
  8. congressmen should get paid less, and have to pay taxes, and take care of their own retirement plans, and buy their own health insurance etc.
  9. the government should stay out of health insurance. end of conversation.
  10. stop sending help and financial aid out of the country. natural disasters are terrible. but that's not their job: that's the church's job.

Women and Men in society.

Warning: controversial post about religion and society ahead!

Patriarchy: man-lead society (which is the way it's supposed to be, right?)

well, yes. But in our culture, Patriarchy means anti-women. It used to mean man-lead, now it means woman-bashing.

In our society women have lower rights. not less, but lower. we make less money. we're looked down on in some situations. I hears about a woman who, when she was working as an engineer, she got more respect when she pretended to be clueless and need help than when she acted like she understood the situation as well as the men.

Is this right? is it wrong?

well, it's not fair. but is it okay?


First of all, what are our roles as women?

  1. to train up and care for our children
  2. to respect and build up our husbands
  3. to care for our home
  4. to do whatever specific thing God wants us to do.

Should women be able to vote?

perhaps. Now I'm not saying women should loose their voting rights. But I feel like since men are supposed to lead the household, shouldn't there be one vote per household? if a woman is single and living and taking care of herself, she should vote. If she's living with her father or husband, maybe she shouldn't. maybe it should be one vote per household.

just throwing my thoughts out there.

what do you think?

Mar 11, 2012

1. I totally forgot time change.
2. Im putting my spare dollars and quarters away for my wedding. So far im at 35.
3. my student got pointe shoes yesterday!

Mar 5, 2012

If you could instantly become fluent in another language, which language would you pick?


Ask me anything

Do you like holding hands?

yes :)

Ask me anything

What do you do when/if you're in a reading slump?

knit, crochet, write, or exercise. then i eat chocolate. then i usually find a new book to read pretty quickly ;)

Ask me anything

Mar 2, 2012

You know you're addicted to Formspring when __________ ?

well, i'll tell you when you're not. when you only log in every once in a while, and you have to try all your different passwords before you can remember which one it is and log in...

Ask me anything

glad to be a follower on yuor blog. awsumm...n so realistic..keep it luck god bless you..:)

Thanks :D

Ask me anything

The Bridge to Nowhere

I am doing a French presentation about Nature Writing, so I decided the best way to learn about it was to go do it.

This is the result.

It’s been a long time.

I haven’t written in ages. I’ve been focused on knitting and crocheting, because it makes me money. Writing doesn’t. Yet. Still working on that.

The whole way up here, my mind has been churning—I’ll write about this, and that. What a pretty sound. The grass is so green here.

Now that I’m here, nothing important comes to mind.

It’s a beautiful place: quiet, for a college campus. Probably only because it’s break and there’s only a few dozen people here. There’s a sound of some sort of electrical factory equipment far off in the distance, and every once in a while I hear the chirp of a utility van go by.

I hear the wind approach, like the enemy in the battle, slowly stirring up sound and getting louder as it gets closer. It brushes the leaves and moves the grass before it dances through my hair and tickles my skin.

Where I am is like a pelvis. It’s a bowl-shaped valley, small, but photography tricks could make it look endless because of the shapes of the hills and the positioning of the trees. There is a stone wall surrounding the quarters of the valley—the iliac crest—and stone steps in the middle where the wall joins, leading back up to the real world—the symphosis pubis.

Anatomically, I sit in the sacrum.

It’s a small foot bridge made of stone, a little bit of a slant, and curls connecting the handrail to the stone. Only two feet off the ground at the highest point, it leads from one hill—well, lump—to the other. It doesn’t join anything, it doesn’t protect from anything.

Does it serve a purpose?

Does the tailbone serve a purpose?

The girl who told me about The Bridge to Nowhere is a nutrition major, she said it was near the nutrition building, and that’s all I knew about where it was. I’d lived in Buchanan, one of the dorms in upper campus, for a semester. But I’d never gone to this side of upper campus: I’d had no reason to. Walking up to Buchanan the way I used to made me miss living there. I missed the beauty, the wind, the trees, the solitude, the fifteen minute hike to get to classes. I almost wanted to move back—then I remembered they didn’t have single rooms, private bathrooms, or kitchens. So that idea went out the window.

I found the bridge. {girl}had said she used to go up there and sit and listen to God, and pray. It sounded like a lovely place to explore on a boring windy dark day all alone on campus.

{boy} said the LARPers met here for tournaments and battles, or something. I’d seen some pictures, and I knew it was beautiful, but I didn’t know it was quite this symbolic.

At least, I found it to be symbolic. Symbolic of someone I love.

I was pretty sure nature writing was about looking at God’s creation and trying to see His glory, and power in it. I still think that’s true. Why else write about art but to worship the artist?

But the bridge made me think about trials, hard times, warfare, like {boy}'sLARP battles. Spiritual battles God puts in our lives. Sometimes they don’t look like they’re important, sometimes they look like one more pointless hoop to jump through, one more hill to hike up, one more bridge to cross. They feel like they’re just stupid things that are in our lives for no reason.

But the tailbone is there for a reason. It took us a while to figure out why we have one. It turns out we have ligaments attached to this “useless remains of evolution” and if you didn’t have one, you wouldn’t be able to stand up, sit down, walk, lay down… basically, you couldn’t go anywhere.

Maybe this was a pointless bridge, totally useless to some people, like the people who built it there. They were probably thinking “why in hell are we building a bridge that doesn’t have water or thorns or lava under it?”

But it served as a quiet place for {girl}. A battle field for {boy}.

A man who was betrayed, broken, wrongly accused, thrown in jail, and then forced to remember the unfair sin against him every day for the rest of his life may spend his days trying to understand why he was forced to cross this bridge. And he may never know. But maybe it serves as something higher and better. Maybe it’s a blessing, a lesson, a way to worship God, not to the one who was broken, but to someone else.

Does God do stuff like that?

I heard the rain before I felt it. It fell on the leaves and made a sound a child taking off his swimsuit, and letting the sand from the beach fall into the bathtub or onto the kitchen floor.

I snapped my notebook shut and threw everything into my bag, and headed up the hill towards the symphosis pubis. The steps were obnoxiously steep, and I was out of breath by the time I got up. I sighed at the trees, wishing I could be as beautiful as them in their death. I started the long walk back down to my dorm.

I stopped to pick some little purple flowers, and then went into a café I’d never been to before. Now I sit in a window seat eating a pastry and sipping a bad latte, waiting for my Love to text me, telling me he’s finally here on campus after two months of not seeing each other, to see me, to hold me, to kiss me, to remind me of the Glory and fulfilled promises of my highest Father.

I will take him to The Bridge to Nowhere, to the tailbone of the valley, and maybe he’ll remember that sometimes things that seem pointless really serve a greater purpose—if only for future joy.

Feb 28, 2012

I hate putting titles on posts when im tired.

So I'm trying to wake up early more, so I can study, and do my Bible study and work out (because I haven't done any sort of exercise in like three weeks). I got up at 6 yesterday and got all sorts of great things done, but at 8:30 I went to bed because I was so tired, I couldn't even crochet.

This morning I got up at 6 again, and sat on my chair for an hour. So that was wasted time. Then I went to the bagel shop—because rather than wash my dishes so I could eat breakfast in my room, I spent the hour sitting on my chair wishing John was with me. I got my coffee (well, espresso drink) and a muffin, and found a couch in the University Center, and sat down to knit or study or something… and fell asleep. Luckily I didn't have class until 9:30, so I slept until y 9:10 alarm went off.

I feel better now.

But I totally would have slept until my 12:30 class.

I forgot I had a quiz/test thing today (all about the muscles in the foot) and studying right now isn't going to do squat, so I'm dreading the quiz/test thing.

after class, I'm going to get coffee—some REAL COFFEE—and take my pills, and knit my hat so I can sell it on my shop and earn some money because I'm very poor. not broke, but poor.

also: apparently selling a knit domo on etsy breaks copyright laws. note to self: DON'T BREAK COPYRIGHT LAWS!

I had some odd dreams last night too. one of them was I dreamed I found a hat I'd knitted, and shrunk and turned into a baby hat. which was sad because it was one of my favorites.

I also dreamed John and I were married. :) (No details about that dream.)

no, I'm kidding. it wasn't bad. we were just sitting together. okay there may have been some kissing. okay there was a lot of kissing.



Feb 25, 2012


my eyes suck at being eyes. they hurt so bad right now. plus my knee hurts, and my head hurts because the coffee hasn't hit my system yet, and I feel crabby because I miss the boy. good grief do I miss him.

sometimes I feel so good, like I'm on top of the world and ahead of the game because I studied, I finished my homework, I sold something on my etsy shop (called the yarn cat, btw. I won't link it for anonymity sake). or maybe I learned something new, like I learned something about my novel, or how to crochet or tat lace (all three of which happened recently).

other times, like today, I feel like a slacker because I got up at 11 only because I knew I had to take my meds at the same time every day to avoid my period coming three weeks early, and I've spent the past three hours browsing the interwebs, drinking coffee, eating a donut, and just being lazy.

plus, now, because my eyes suck at being eyes, and I've spent a while staring at a screen, my eyes hurt worse than they did when I woke up.

I want my glasses!!! they are being "processed" (whatever that means). I just hope they work—like, I hope I got all the numbers right.

Sis is sitting with me. apparently Jeff is mad at her—again—so she's hanging out with me.

I am procrastinating. I am supposed to be working on a makeup morgue.

I have a ton of books to read too.

I need to get working.

but all I want to do is brows etsy and work on my crochet squares. I think I'm going to make a little baby quilt. :)

John and his mother are coming to visit me next friday I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!1


Go ye into your neighborhood too!

Today I'm going to write about something very controversial.

"Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel."

"Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world."

"Make disciples in every nation."


As Christians, our job is very clear. We are to share the gospel with the nations, make disciples, and glorify God by serving others. Every year we send tons of missionaries into other countries. Churches go on missions trips. We send money oversees to AIDS victims and earthquake victims.

But there are still homeless people here. Sick people, hurt people, prostitutes, drug addicts, people needing Christ.

You don't have to go into another country to serve Christ. In fact, you shouldn't, unless you've run out of people in your neighborhood and immediate area to serve.

Now, some people are specifically called to go to certain places. They learn the language, they meet people/marry people in those other countries, and they move out there. But they live there, and those people have become their immediate neighbors!

The point is, before you send your money oversees and dedicate your time to places in other countries—however awesome it is—check out your local soup kitchen, goodwill, homeless shelter, or mid-point house for orphans. They need Christ to.

To my Nerdfighters: I see nothing wrong with decreasing World Suck.

But let's focus on city-suck, too.


Feb 17, 2012

Dear em:
Study your ass of in french, please. Thanks.

Love, your future self.

Feb 16, 2012

How often do you go to the movies?

rarely. I don't like movies. unless the boyfriend comes with me :)

Ask me anything

Feb 15, 2012

so apparently I'm blind

I've been having a lot of problems with my eyes lately. I went to the eye doctor and got an eye exam and found that I have 20/40 vision in one eye, and 20/50 in the other. So legally, I shouldn't be driving.

I'm a really good driver though.

So now I'm getting progressive bifocals. Or at least, I will, after I find someone to measure my pupillary distance. I can't do it myself. I guess I could do it in front of a webcam, and then look at the video, but I don't know how accurate that would be.

Anyway, other than that, I've gotten my etsy shop started, and I've been knitting Pokémon, Legend of Zelda hats, and other cool stuff.

Right now I'm taking a break from bleak house. I'm listening to Librivox's audiobook because my audiobook hasn't come in yet.

*shoots self in head*

I taught ballet for my teacher today! I substituted for her because she had to be somewhere. it was really fun. and the students had fun too.

Also: Bleak House… in your pants.

Feb 4, 2012

your face, john.

I was watching a vlogbrothers video today and I paused it to take the cupcakes out of the oven (it's Jeff's b-day) and I came back and this was the face I found I'd paused on.


I love John Green.

Feb 2, 2012

The hardest part about waking up is getting out from under the covers.

Jan 30, 2012



If you are contracting "It Is:"

its yes

If you are NOT contracting "it is:"

its no

Jan 29, 2012

lists help me think.

So. here is a list of stuff that has happened, is happening, or will happen:

  1. I am joining my local church. I've been wanting to join for a while, and that church is really the reason I chose the school I'm at now, so I went to a membership class and I'll probably join in the next few weeks.
  2. John and his mother are coming to visit me in the first week of March (I'm so excited!!)
  3. It's been a year since I've started working on my novel, and it's still just a crappy first draft…. I'd better get going on that.
  4. my phone is screwed up, and doesn't send or receive pictures for some reason. this is bad, because my phone is my camera, and I take pictures from my phone and text them to my email address, and that's how I get pictures. so I have to fix this… I got a blue-tooth adapter for my computer so I can send them to my computer that way… we'll see if that works.
  5. I am behind on my reading. WAY behind. I have to read emma, heart of darkness, and about eight review books. oy.
  6. I'm going to knit a sweater. it might take me a year, but I'm so going to knit a sweater.
  7. I'm also going to knit my wedding dress. this means I have to learn to knit lace, and I have to get over my fear of size 3 needles.


that's the basic idea. it's still a work in progress of course, and I'm sure I'll change it a lot as I go, but that's the general idea.

I'm thinking a winter wedding would be nice. but summer or spring or fall would be fine too.


Jan 22, 2012

What YouTube video made you laugh recently?

vlog brothers always make me laugh.

Ask me anything

Do you like playing in the snow?


Ask me anything

Can you whistle?

i used to be able to, but not anymore. i have a retainer glued to the bottom of my teeth where my tongue is supposed to go in order to be able to whistle. so every once in a while I can get a "kinda-whistle." but most of the time it's a no.

Ask me anything

What's the last song that got stuck in your head?


Ask me anything

Rock, paper or scissors?



Ask me anything

What famous person would you like to meet?

Anna Pavlova. I want to know whose version of The Dying Swan I'm actually dancing.

Ask me anything

Save the Unborn

I'm having a fundraiser at my other blog. It's just starting and I don't have a lot of stuff up there yet, but I'm working on putting more on there.

Please visit it and consider donating or purchasing something. All the money except cost of materials goes to stopping abortion.

so excited!!

I got a job.

I'm teaching pre-pointe at a local Christian dance studio! They don't have any girls en pointe right now, but I'm developing a curriculum to put them on. I'm so. freaking. excited.

I love teaching ballet.


Thank you God!!

Jan 16, 2012


I wont see John until March.

*dies a little inside*

Maybe I'm insensitive, but this is my blog after all…

Racism will never go away until we stop talking about it.

Now that's not to say that we should forget our history. But if we continue to make a big deal over what happened so many years ago, and continue to practically worship the people who gave their lives to change it, we will never move on. And until we can move on, the hate and anger from our ancestors still lives in us.

You're free now. Get over it.

This is not meant to offend anyone who is black or is related to someone who is black (or however you like your skin color referred too). I'm just saying… if we had a white history day, we'd never hear the end of it. why is that, do you think?

Like I said. get over it.

Jan 14, 2012

this morning.

I'm being both good and bad this morning.

these are the good things I did:

  • I got up before noon (okay, 11:30)
  • I called John and we talked for a while before we got up, which was nice
  • I packed all my bags full of school books, and headed to starbucks
  • I didn't forget to take my medicine
  • Even though I'm almost done knitting my blue ringed octopus, I didn't bring it with me to starbucks, so I could focus on my homework first! (this is a big thing for me)

these are the bad things I did this morning:

  • On the phone with John, I sort of flirted with him. I wasn't horribly bad, but I could have been less of a tease I guess.
  • For breakfast, I am eating a pumpkin spice latte (the venti size…) and a pumpkin cranberry cream-cheese stack from McAlisters.
  • I forgot my glasses. Which means I'll have to go back to my dorm and get them, because I've been typing for two minutes and my head already hurts.

So yeah. The good outnumbers the bad, but we don't follow utilitarianism here.

at least I think that's the word.

I'm eventually going to make a dictionary. It will contain words I often forget the meaning of and have to relearn the meaning every semester, new important things I've discovered, and words I made up that I don't want to forget.

And I'll make it on InDesign. Since I paid three hundred dollars for the program, there is no reason I shouldn't' use that thing for EVERYTHING.

Jan 10, 2012

Sometimes… I feel like this…


Jan 8, 2012


These. Are. Amazing.


I am in love.

one of life's great mysteries


Jan 7, 2012

in your pants

John Green and his writer friends decided that if you add "In your pants" to the end of any book title, it becomes a lot funnier.

The best titles for IN YOUR PANTS jokes:


this list is not complete….. additions? leave a comment.


I'm posting this because my blogging program does a better job of organizing this than my page does.
I don't use real names in my blog—with the exception of one name, Brad, who I don't know personally and only met once. So, for those of you who know me and are trying to figure out who is who, this is sort of your answer key. For those of you who have not been following long, here are brief bios of people I may/probably will mention.

Jasmine is one of my friends at school. We have two classes together. Her best friend's name is Marie, who is also a new friend of mine. We're all dancers, and Marie is a Musical Theater major.

Rachel is a girl in my French class. We're planning on running and working out together in the Spring. I want to witness to her.

John is the boyfriend. I met him because one day I posted a facebook status that said something like "text me, I'm bored!" and my phone number. He reminds me a little bit of Peeta from The Hunger Games, because he's so sweet.

Sis is my little sister (not my youngest sister) and we're very good friends. We go to the university together.


Jeff is one of Sis's friends. He just transferred up to our school with us.

Victory is my best girlfriend ever. She's awesome and sweet and funny and wonderful. She blogs over here.

Brad is a guy who shared his testimony one Sunday, and it inspired me to write a book, which led to a series. He hugely impacted my view on Christian men.

Dylan was one of my first friends on campus. I met him in Starbucks and we talked about pirate costumes for halloween and why Edward Cullen is a fairy, not a vampire. I'm trying to witness to him. He has a fantastic irish accent. We're good friends and have never been awkward or experienced any attraction. He introduced me to Jace.

Named after the character from The Mortal Instruments, Jace is a friend of mine from college.  We're both writers, adore books, and love cats and dislike but don't totally hate dogs. He's a shameless flirt and I can never quite figure him out, but I put up with him because he's sexy, funny, and we're too similar not to be friends.

Ears is my little brother who seems to be able to hear everything in the house. this can be potentially hazardous and somewhat awkward as he will randomly comment on conversations that have nothing to do with him. He as asburgers syndrome (very high-functioning autism) and he argues about everything, but he and i are extremely similar so I have a soft spot for him.

Fish is my younger sister. She loves to swim, she is the best singer on the planet, and she was born for Broadway. She says awkward things and drives me nuts.

A jerk I knew in High School, who also inspired one (okay three) of my stories. I'm not actually sure if we're on speaking terms or not, but he's one of my haunting muses, so I can't do anything about him. Even killing his character in the book won't help. :/ His name is Voldemort because he ended up as "You Know Who" in my diary.

where's waldo?

more like "where's emily?"

yes, the truth is out. I call myself emily on this blog. it's not my real name. long story there ;)

Back at school. It feels good to be back. Sis is moved in. I think she's still sleeping.

We left Thursday night at 10:30pm and drove through the night. We got to school at 5:30. Record time! It was actually pretty fun. Once we got past midnight, it wasn't hard to stay awake. I like driving at night. It's a lot more relaxing. There's no traffic. There's no huge trucks (well, okay, there are some, but there's plenty of room on the road to pass them). And  most of the time, the only headlights on the road are mine! So I don't get blinded!! yay!

Anyway, our ID cards worked at 5:30, so we went into the dorms. Sis and Jeff (more on him later) crashed in commons rooms. I slept in my own bed for the first time in almost a month. I fell asleep about 6am.

and woke up at 9:30am.

because I had forgotten to bring in my medicine and I didn't want to go into withdrawal.

so I got on some clothes and shoes and went out to the car and got my meds and by the time I'd taken them, I was awake (it was cold outside) so I just started unpacking and cleaning and stuff.

we were busy until 6:30pm, when I finally died. I was organizing my yarn (it's still a mess, but it's better) but I just crashed. so I called John for a few minutes, and went to bed at 7.

now im up and I need to go to walmart and get food so I can eat something besides chocolate and doughnuts for breakfast.

okay so: Jeff. Jeff is Sis's friend. She met him last Christmas. I was at college last year, and she was lonely. She met two guys: Jeff, and Blake. the relationship between them was a young adult novel, and one day I'm going to write about something like it and make a lot of money.

anyway. Jeff is a good friend of hers, and he just transferred up to school with us. so you'll be hearing more about him.

lastly: last night I had a dream that everyone thought I pulled a fire alarm in a building and they were going to arrest me. but it turned out I was really a super-hero detective, and I helped them solve the case. I used Jesus-power. (no seriously: my ID said "Christ appointed detective with the Power of God.") anyway then these demons came to our house and I had to destroy them so they wouldn't kill my family, and it was really hard, but I did it using wit and Jesus-power and a really cool gun that shot blue bullets and made things explode.

kinda wish I hadn't woken up.

Super-emily to the rescue!!!

Random things that happened over Christmas break:

  • I learned to knit socks. They're just like mittens, but you add a heel instead of a toe. I don't know why I didn't figure this out before.
  • I dropped three pants sizes. totally by accident! but still. I was a 5. now I'm a 2. but they don't make 2's with the length I need, so I'm still wearing my 5's with belts and I look like a potato sack. anyway.
  • I acquired many scarves. apparently John's mother had told her extended family with whom we stayed over Christmas that I liked scarves. so I got several of them. I can't complain, because I love them all. now I'll be warm and cute!
  • I made $100 working for my dad for a few days.
  • I realized I could live at home and spend very little money if I was smart. usually I would eat out and buy coffee and other stuff, but this time I didn't spend hardly any money (I was saving for gas money for my trip to see John) and I learned a valuable lesson: you don't have to spend money to be happy. of course I already knew this, I just wasn't practicing.
  • I rekindled my love of knitting. I knit almost every day for several hours. I forgot how much I absolutely adore knitting!!! it's so much fun!!!

a lot more happened, but these were my big highlights.

Jan 2, 2012

He left. Back to waiting for phone calls. He let me keep his jacket. He let me sleep with it this week. First time in years i havent needed my bear to sleep.