Jul 27, 2010

imma… start a business

yes, seriously. I’m going to start a business designing websites and blog layouts… nonprofit, for Christian peoples.

now i just gotta get a photobucket account, re-download pagebreeze onto my new computer, and get going… oh and i need to recover all my old layouts on my old computer that DIED boooohoooo…

so yeah.

i’ll keep u posted :)


Jul 23, 2010

What if I don’t want to enter a post title! Hu? what then!!

So I started packing for college yesterday. I got all my books lined up in the storage area (it’s pretty darn awesome—looks like a secret book shelf hidden in a secret wall or something!) and I’m making a goodwill run tomorrow. I got three pairs of jeans at GW today, actually.

Goodwill is a great place to get jeans. Because, see, they’re jeans that fit real people… and they’re already broken in… so I don’t have to!

and, dude, although I don’t try to get jeans that look sexy just so I can look sexy… i did find a pair that I was like “wow. I actually look hot in these.”

kinda surprised me.

(yes I got them. How could I not?)

And tomorrow I’m doing this thing at the theater… I’m gonna be an usher or something. Idk all the details, I got roped in what with my librarian/friend/type person being a theatre/type person. But I love it. I kinda miss theatre… yes I spell it wrong on purpose. jump in a lake.

period is almost over. feeling better. although yesterday I had the worst cramps, I seriously thought i was going to die.

better now. :)

<3 see I even did a regular heart this time :)

(oh my lollipop i leave for school in ONE MONTH!)

OH. AND. my mom said we could bring back the PINK comforter. and get a different colored towel. hopefully something blue or green.


Jul 19, 2010

Um. So. What haven't I written about lately?

I haven’t said that being a woman is hard, and that periods suck. Seriously.

pardon mon francais.

but periods suck like a freaking vampire.

So I taught a class today. Cute kids, all pretty well behaved, nothing insane happened except the fact that my body was SCREEEEEEMING at me all day and everything is sore. Just because. I’m like that.

I suck like a vampire, remember?

Bad mood, me. just bad mood.

I did “win” the video contest at the library… it was a tie (there were two prizes) between one girl who works at (family store name) and the other girl who works at (family store name) and the prize was from… you guessed it! (family store name!) so we handed off the one prize to our assistant, and I gave my prize to the third place winner.

But my sisters really was the best.

and mine really was second best.

And I did get an awesome bookbag with the library SRP theme on the front. So I’m happy. :)

except that my mood is still in the negative.


like that.

< /3

(broken heart. Get it?)

Jul 17, 2010

It would probably be a bad idea to title this post.

I love my mom. I really do. But she does some annoying things sometimes.

For instance, today. I realize she loves me. and I mean… hello! she’s freaking buying me stuff! I love that! but I wanted to go shopping with her, not just have her buy me stuff… she bought all this stuff for me for school, like a comfetor and hangers and towels, sheets etc.

but they’re all pink.


I don’t have a problem with pink. I adore pink. But I’m not a ballerina any more, mom. And pink is not my thing. twelve different colors on every square inch? yes please and pack more in there if you can. big bright bold? difinitely. Black? duh.

all pink and purple. EW.

I’ll probably just hide it in my closet when I get there.

because seriously? I’m a criminal justice major. i don’t want a pink room.

I find it funny that she wants me to cut my hair, but she also wants me to wear pink and do my makeup all the time.

which is another thing that bugs me.

I have great skin. only time I break out is when I eat too much chocolate or fast food. I have these horrible freckles over my whole face, but at least there is enough of them so my face pretty much looks one color… I am reasonably satisfactory, as far as my face goes. Not pretty by any stretch of the word, but not ugly and not (too) plain.

and she’s always trying to get me to do my makeup. at least she did for a while. “do your makeup. you’d look nicer if you dressed up a little. you don’t really have time to wash your hair, but it needs it (which it doesn’t by the way.)…”

seriously? and the only time she tells me i look nice is when I do dress up and cake my face with crap.

keep in mind i’m allergic to the stuff.

(and I do intend to leave it ALL at home… except maybe lip gloss. that stuff is better than chap stick!)

and one time, she even tried to use reverse psychology on me to get me to cut my hair. I was like wut?? you’re insane.

So yeah. I’ll probably regret posting this. Like I said, I love my mom a lot, and i know she was only trying to help.

but how am I going to get rid of that pink stuff without hurting her feelings? she even bought a bunch of pink washcloths!!!!! pink pink too much freaking flipping pink!


I wanted to go shopping with her—like we planned!—and pick out something together!

of course i didn’t tell her I was disappointed. I just thanked her and grinned and pretended to be happy.

I’ll definitely be bringing my own sheets to school…



Jul 16, 2010

I mean what I say… I say what I mean!

I was reading Alice in Wonderland and Philosophy.  it’s really cool, ended up enjoying it more than I thought i would. Cool book in my library at home.

This little piece is printed.

“Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare sent on.

“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least—at least I mean what I say—that’s the same thing, you know.”

“Not the same thing a bit!” said the Hatter. “You might just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as “i eat what I see’!”

and it’s very true. You have to be careful of your words all the time, especially with subject/predicate confusion, and definitions of words.

For instance.

You probably have a different definition of the word “Evolution” than I do. I believe in Evolution.

Because there are seven definitions of the word, and I believe in two of them.

Five of them are things like Cosmic evolution, Stellar evolution etc. the evolution of things that are not scientific. One is Micro evolution, changes within a species. that’s science.

The other is just the word, and it means—to me—change. change of anything: a relationship, a personality, your body aging, a viewpoint, a story etc.

Amazing what thoughts Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland can bring up, ain’t it?

How I do love Alice.

If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary-wise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?


In my world, you wouldn't say “Meow.” you’d say, “Yes miss Alice.”


Oh but you would! You’d be just like people, Dinah. And all the other animals too.

Why in my world…

cats and rabbits/
would reside in fancy little houses/
and be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers/

in a world of my own

all the flowers/
would have very extra-special powers/
they would sit and talk with me for hours/

when I’m lonely in a world of my own

There’d be new-birds/
lots of nice and friendly howdy-do birds/
everyone would have a dozen blue birds!

within that world of my own

I could listen to a babbling brook… and here a song that I could understand.

I keep wishing… it could be that way…

because my world would be a wonderland…

Probably one of my favorite songs.


Bwahahahhahaha freakish indeed

So i found the ideal layout for moi. Mad Hatter.

If you read in a reader… please look at my new layout :D because it’s fantabulous.


Fairly obvious… but still

you eat crap, your weight goes up, you feel yucky, you slow down.

you eat good food, you lose weight, you feel good, you have energy.

stop eating crap, ladybug.


Jul 14, 2010

A change of heart

I’m working on the guy’s perspective of the novel I’m writing. The story is about a man who got out of alcoholism by the Grace of God, and is inspired by a man who got up in church and shared his testimony, holding nothing back. It changed me a lot.

And every day I have more respect for what he did. Especially now as I’m writing the guy’s side. Granted it’s my character’s head I’m inside, not the actual guy, but still… God bless him.

Just had to say it outloud somewhere.


Jul 12, 2010

Had a blast over at my friend’s house!

J’ai alle a chez mon amie avec mon petite soeur a la week-end derniere. (I went to my friend’s house this weekend with my little sister.)

It was AWESOME. I won’t tell details but I’ll just say that I had lots of fun, mon petite soeur had a blast too (made new friends!) and I got to hang with my bff/un-biological brother for a while, too. t’was FAN-tastic.

And now I have to go to work.



Jul 6, 2010

My ride along

it went really well. I did it earlier in the month, and just didn't have a lot of time to write about it.

I got there half an hour early, because I'd never gotten my confirmation call. Turns out there was some mix-up in the paperwork.

Finally I got a tour of the building, and I met the officer I'd ride with. Let's call her Violet. Violet brought me out to the cruiser and started clearing it out (because a car is their office. the whole front seat was packed).

so we sat down and she started sorting through my papers. she looks at my background check and says "do you know anyone by the name of…" and says some name that I don't remember.


"Because his stuff is stapled to your papers… you sure you don't know him?" she looks at me funny.

"No, I've never heard the name in my life."

"Look at this." she showed me the background check. It was a three page record. The guy had done everything you could possibly do without going to jail. Poor Violet was probably thinking "who on earth is sitting here in my car?"

We decided it was a mistake, and that the lady at the front had stapled the wrong background check to my papers.

I call it another case of irony.

So then we run back and forth between two points all night… I won't go into details about the cases.

So then we got Chinese food for dinner. and I got sick. had to cut it short :\

but it was still fun. I want to do another one.


Jul 1, 2010

Ok so there's this guy.

Let's start at the beginning, ok?

I met him three years ago in school. Let's call him Voldemort.

First time I saw him smile I thought "Ok, that has to go in a book." he inspired one of my characters. Do remember that.

So we ended the year, and then went to a formal dance, and he wouldn't look at me.


totally didn't acknowledge me. I was pretty angry at him.

Two years go by. We'd see each other once in a blue moon, and it was always the same: he'd look past me, I'd look through him. It was this unspoken mutual decision to be enemies.

Found out after about a year and a half of this that he thought I was the hottest girl in the county.  Still hated him. Still considered him a jerk.

However I continued writing the book (series) that he inspired with that evil grin.

He shows up at one of the homeschool classes one day about six months ago. It's the kind of thing where you can just pop in. We are forced to work together, and we pretend nothing happened, like we're just cool with each other.  Found out he's dating one of my friends. Thought she was too good for him. made me angry.
he disappears again, I'm rather happy about it. One less thing to think about.

Saw him randomly about two months ago, he tried to talk to me as if the past three years of ignoring each other hadn't happened. I threatened that I'd hit him, and he left me alone.
for a while.

So the other day I was relaxing in a store, and he shows up and attempts to talk to me. What am I supposed to do? say "go away I hate you?"


so we talked for about an hour and a half maybe. He claimed it was one of the most intelligent conversations he'd ever had. Which really didn't say much about his intelligence, but still. we had a good talk. He's not as bad as I thought.

Randomly saw him in a store yesterday, too. he didn't ignore me that time, either.

Except there's this one little thing that's still bugging me. Actually two things:

1. he started that unspoken mutual decision to ignore each other… why? I guess it doesn't matter because he finished it, and I'm finished with it, too. One less vendetta to concentrate on. However, there's another unspoken mutual decision now: neither of us will bring up the whole "so why did you avoid me?" "so why did you ignore me?" "So why did you threaten to hit me?" that kind of thing. It's like it never happened. I'm not sure what to think about that. If I bring it up, I might lose my second chance at a friendship that I missed a lot when that first class ended three years ago.

2. he has, in the two times I've seen him in the past week, successfully spoken two lines directly from the book I wrote… lines that happened to be spoken by the character he inspired—and that's annoying the crap out of me.
Seriously, number 2 is worse than number 1. he inspired the character, he never read the book, three years later he says lines the character said. it's creepy. very very creepy.
welcome to a freakish diary.

I call it ironic. extremely ironic. Maybe you'd have to be there… but number 2 is just ironic.

I got pulled over yesterday…

So a friend of ours gave us this car. They inherited two new cars, and they gave us one of their old ones. It works out wonderfully for us.

except for the fact that it doesn't have air conditioning.

but that's beside the point

so we brought it to the muffler shop to get it inspected… whatever that means. it passed—thank God—but they had to take off the license plate, and we had to get a new one.

So I ask mom, "Will I get pulled over for driving without a license plate?"

"No, the DMV is about two minutes up the road. You'll be fine."

I get into the car and I'm thinking I'm so gonna get pulled over.

I pull out—in the lane right beside me is a state trooper.

And I'm thinking he's gonna pull me over.

he switches lanes: get's right behind me. I'm ignoring him thinking maybe if we get there and I pull into the DMV he'll understand.

AAAAAnd the lights go on and I'm like crap. He's pulling me over.

So I pull over. and he's like "I pulled you over because you don't have a license plate."

and I explained the whole thing to him, and gave him the passed papers, and tried to smile and look sweet. (He's this really cute young guy.)

It must have worked because he just smiled and let me go.

Figures that I, of all people, would get pulled over.

I seem to have a lot of ironic luck.

More on that later…