I apologize if this post shows up four times… blogger mobile isn't working right now for some reason…
We had a pretty intense conversation last night, and it doesn't belong online. I did, however, somehow find the strength and guts to something I've never done before: I asked.
I tend to stay quiet and not talk a lot during serious conversations, I just listen and decide my own opinion and voice them when I have the chance. but I did encourage him last night. and when he said he wanted to be friends, somehow I asked. and it was intimidating, and hard, but I did it. he answered well, considering the awkward place I put him in. at least he's being honest with me.
at least I hope he's being honest. I would be able to tell if I were face to face.
then again, I probably would have kept my mouth shut if we were face to face.
thing is, I asked, "tell me right now if that's it." and he sort of laughed. he explained further. but I had to know, because guys have shown interest in me before and then all of a sudden they back off and pull the friend card because I'm too annoying or too serious or too intense. so I asked. he's serious. and he doesn't date to date: he dates to marry.
he says he's going slow.
I shudder to know his definition of fast…
it'll work out, Em. I'm trying to leave it in God's hands. He said the same thing in his explanation.
Those of you who read my rambling and complaining and drama, please pray for us, that we go slow, stay wise, and do only what He wishes.