Mar 20, 2011

really not thinking of good titles lately.

I've decided I'm going to have to back off. It's harder to remember the reasons I can't marry Jace when I'm seeing him and spending time with him all the time and he's being funny and sweet and charming. It was easier over Christmas and during the short two weeks where for some reason he didn't talk to me. Maybe he was doing the same thing like mom originally said?

or maybe he's just a clueless boy. I dunno.

either way, I've made my decision. I'm not going to ignore him, but I'm not going to try to find him at lunch, I'm not going to text him just to talk to someone, I'm not going to look for him at the gym. If I run into him that's fine, and if he wants to do something I'm game, but he generally doesn't and I don't think he will because he's less social than I am. And that's pretty antisocial.

Plus he's hanging out with another girl now. And last time I sort of felt bad when he was hanging out with his girl and I was sitting next to his roommate awkwardly watching them flirt. so I'm not going to do that again.

anyway, I'm at peace about it. it sticks because he's really one of my only friends on campus and I like him a lot for who he is, I just think I like him a little too much and he doesn't return that. I need to make more friends. besides, he's a senior next year and I don't want to invest all my time in one person who is going to be gone next may and probably not connect up with me again… he's not really one to chill on facebook or call up an old buddy just for kicks.

so there's that.


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