Jan 11, 2011

so angry.

I'm angry at myself more than anything. I've done it again. jace is ignorning me. I've annoyed him to the point that he's exhasperated, and he's done putting up with me.

but I have no idea what I did.

same thing happened with Voldemort. of course I hate voldemort, and I don't hate jace. I like jace. probably more than I should. he's a nice guy, he's hard not to like. voldey? he was was really easy not to like.

so now I've scared off my closest friend on campus. I feel exactly where I was before, last semester at the beginning of the school year, when Sarah was the only person I knew. only now I know more people and they're sort of my friends, but I don't know them very well.

I really hope I'm wrong. that's all I can say. in fact I hope I'm wrong about voldemort as well. but I don't think I am about either. unless someone stole voldemort's phone and texted my sister on it, and jace lost his phone and just decided not to eat for the past few days.

and it hurts more than it should. I knew he could never be more than a friend because he's just not right for me. but he was a good friend. for three months.

that's fine. God is enough. well Lacrae thinks so. and I know so. it's just annoying. why can't I keep a friend for more than a few months?

one of these days I'll be somebody's "normal," not someone's "weird friend." maybe he'll love me enough to marry me.

I hate boys. maybe I'll just never get married. bah! humbug.


and we've had a foot and a half of snow, so classes are canceled.


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