i really kinda hate boys

I actually have this t-shirt that says:

dear, boys.
i hate you all.
love, me.

and i like that shirt a lot. Should maybe wear it more often, yes?
yes.
Because see here’s what happened.
so remember mr. irony, mr “im not going to talk to you for three years and now we’re best friends?” the one who inspired my character and started saying lines from the book?
yes that one.
Voldey. You Know Who.
So. yesterday I saw his mother. she’s a sweet lady. my mom likes her a lot. i saw her and almost had a heart attack thinking he was there too. because in all honesty, the next time i see him, i will probably die and run screaming from the room.
then again that may draw a lot of unnecessary attention. so it may not be the best idea.
and he goes to my sister’s youth group. which is really the only reason i don’t go. because i don’t want to run into him.
so i dropped off the kids at youth group. went to pick him up, praying he wasn’t there. his brother was, but he wasn’t. Thank God.
so the thing is, i’d convinced myself that i didn’t like him, so that i wouldn't like him. but in church we talked about how we are called to like people because Jesus liked people. but if i like him, then i’ll like him.
see?
no you dont. you have no idea what i’m talking about.
shut up, me.
and the thing is, he’s been in my head since i’ve met him. he won’t get out.
i really hope this goes away when i get to school and he’s not around and im not constantly worrying about bumping into him, because he is the last thing i want to think about. really.
<2 (because it’s not quite three)