A quick song

by The High Kings. they make me smile.

:)

see?

Not to mention that Brian  and Darren are adorable.

<3

ooooh yes that felt good.

I just scared off one of my sisters stalkers… voldemort. yeah. him. he'd been texting her again, even after last time. granted all he'd said was "hi, it's Voldemort." I texted back and said "yeah and this is me, do not text her again."

he hasn't.

bwahahahahahahahaha!

Still sick. Lost my voice. lovely timing since my debate is today. Gonna pack and clean my room after lunch. Idk if i'll sit w/ Jace or not, though.

Sick.

teehee

cute layout. it is adorable. I love it. it looks like a diary.

of course… diary's don't have spell check, so it doesn't look like MY  diary. neither do I capitalize much of anything in my real diary.

I felt like being random today.

BLAH!

hehe.

<3

Birthday

Had a good birthday. Sarah and Kelsey gave me cards (Kelsey gave me some tea!! :) and i went to church. then i went home and did laundry and homework and ate chocoalte, then went to youth group at church. got lots of facebook messages :) and of course i have fb mobile so i got them all on texts too... that was funny. anyway.

although i didn't get any hugs from my family :/ my sister did, however, call me and sing "happy birthday" at the top of her lungs, and my DH (dear roommate) could hear it on the other side of the room with the tv on. we were both laughing.

on to class.

<3

my conclusion

I have come to the conclusion that Jace is not flirting with me. or actually he is but he's just like that. he flirts with EVERYONE. that's just the way he is.

which is a relief because he's one less person I have to worry about.

I haven't heard back from Dave so that's good—no I'm not going to take the job are you kidding me—and Voldemort doesn't count anymore, so I'm free from boys.

temporarily.

watch another one be thrown into the mix as soon as it all calms down. I'll have one week of peace and then BAM another stupid boy will show up and start messing with my brain…

I really need to just get married and be done with it.

<3

Things I've managed

1. I've made a list. A list of things I want in a husband, and I've promised not to settle for anyone who doesn't meet every single requirement. That takes a few people off the "potentials" list, even if they did change. Of course that also leaves the list blank. But I'm trying to relax and not worry about it.
   
2. I've managed to eat half of the huge chocolate lava cupcake my mom sent me for my birthday. I've also managed to gag and cough and break out on my chin. But I really needed the chocolate because I'm going to be alone and doing homework and on my period on my 19th birthday. I've had sucky birthdays, but at least my mom was going to be there to give  me a hug.
   
3. I've dislocated my knee again. hey, I never said this list was things I managed to do right. my knee tape started peeling last night—got caught on my pjs—and today I squirmed in bed or something and popped it. so now it hurts. good job silly girl!
   
4. I've managed to miss a call from my best friend
   
5. I've written 2.5 of the 5 annotations for my annotated bibliography. due on Thursday. it shouldn't be too bad though, because the articles are so short I'll probably finish by tomorrow afternoon.
   
6. I helped a friend
   
7. I got a ride home for thanksgiving
   
8. I made a pair of mittens for my grandma that she likes
   
9. I managed to miss dinner with two sets of friends (one with Derek and his friends and another with Sarah and her friends, whose birthday is today) and miss creative writing club because I was so sick and tired and nasty from this stupid period.
   
10. I managed not to fall asleep in either of my classes today
    
11. I've managed to feel depressed, lonely, tired, sick, and rejected all in about four seconds simply because my teacher said something along the lines of "You guys are all English majors!" and I'm literally the only one in the class who isn't.
    
12. I've managed to make a complete disaster of my room.
    
13. I've managed to fill up my laundry bag with all my favorite clothes, leaving me with only crappy boring shirts and ugly sweat pants. not like it matters because I have acne again and I feel like shit because I'm on my freaking period.
    
14. I've managed to go several days without reading my bible, which is why I feel tired and lonely and depressed. Why do I do this? because I'm like the Israelites.
    
15. I've managed to break my Ethernet cable somehow—or maybe it was already broken—and it doesn't lock into my computer, so it's always slipping out and making me lose connections.
    
16. I've managed to take a four hour nap in the middle of the day.
    
17. I've managed to escape Starbucks without ordering anything at least twice in the past week
    
18. I've managed to only eat one piece of pizza—and whose idea was it to put pineapple on pizza anyway? idiots. I can' believe I used to like that stuff.
    
19. I've (somehow) managed to burn the top of my mouth—maybe it was the pizza—and I have a nasty piece of skin hanging in my mouth that I can't get off and it's driving me mad
    
20. I've managed to have a whole conversation with Jace without him flirting with me. (at least I don't think he was flirting with me.)
    
21. I've managed to stop picking my nails, both recently and long term. I no longer bleed when I touch things and I have fingernails :)
    
22. I've managed to figure out almost every Christmas present I need to make, and have finished a few of them
    
23. I've managed to make a backup of all my novels
    
24. I've managed to start getting over Voldemort…
    
25. I've managed to make a list of 25 things I've managed.

to mommy

one of the reasons I started this blog is for her. see I'm not very good at talking and explaining myself. so I write stuff down and I can make it understandable so she can understand me clearly.

I know my mom is busy and she probably hasn't checked this blog in forever. but this one is for mommy.

I LOVE YOU!!!

(just sayin')

<3

The Problem with Poetry

The Problem with Poetry
is you need something to say
and you need to say it
in a certain way
But when you can't count or think
in words or phrase
you're always left
with a blank page

And the problem with song writing
is you need to sing
to create a sound
that links verse with key
but when you don't know notes
you're left standing
at a mic or piano
with all purpose missing

But the thing about writing
is it's so versitile.
you can show it or say it
let it take a while,
or multum in parvo
or not say it at all
but you're never left empty,
and always feel full.

Payback is beautiful

So Jace has been putting my silverware in my drink every time I get up from the table. today I saw him in the dining hall and waited until he got up and turned the corner, then found his seat and got him back.

it was funny. made me laugh.

payback is beautiful.

Voldemort must die

I don't know if I can let go of this one.

remember Voldemort? yeahhhh just found out he did something recently that has something to do with my family. just in case, I won't say anything specific. but oh my God I could kill him.

^@%@^&%$*&@#$^$#!@&%*^^%*&@$^#$@&*@%$

-takes deep breath-

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I do to scare boys off!

Let's call me "Me" and the boy "Dave." just for sake of conversation.

Here is the text convo I just had. Background info: I was possibly getting a job cleaning this grad student's house a few times a week.

Dave: I have someone working now, but I might be able to use you after thanksgiving.

Me: Awesome. I'll have my car by then.

Dave: Sounds good. The girl working now isn't as cute as you, so it's not distracting lol

Me: Hahaha… Uh is that good or bad?

Dave: Haha idk. If you worked here I might be tempted to hit on you

Me: Should I bring a bodyguard? a guyfriend offered to come with a baseball bat :P (which is true, I mentioned this to Jace and he said he and Derek could come and sit on the couch with baseball bats and look intimidating :P)

Dave: Haha I'm not that bad :)

(I didn't answer)

Dave: But if you want to hang out some time I wouldn't mind

Me: that might be fun. Text me sometime and let me know (I'm thinking starbucks, lunch, library…)

Dave: Ok. want to catch a movie sometime?

Me: I'm… not… allowed. But we can hang out some time, like casually.

Dave:What do u mean not allowed?

Me: Well my dad doesn't let me date, and even though we're obviously not "dating" his definition is pretty broad. It took him 10 years to give me permission to ride in a guy's car…

Dave: Really?? why is that, aren't you like 18?

Me: Well actually I'll be 19 in a few weeks. But until I marry, my dad is the man in charge of me :)

Dave: I understand, I came from a strict family too. But how can you marry if you can't date first?

Me: Ah… you might not believe this… I'm going to have an arranged marriage

Dave: Wow, really? well I hope that goes well for you

Me: yeah :) thanks

 

 

We texted a little more (he told me I was gorgeous which totally made my day) but the whole thing made me laugh. he's probably not going to ask to hang out again :P

see, this is what I mean by scaring people away!

I'll tell you my name

well… my middle name. it's 'procrastination.'

I have an essay due tomorrow that I've brainstormed just a little bit for. it's definitely nowhere near done.

however, I am good at writing essays under pressure and shall do just fine.

now I'm off to lit class. I love lit class. all my cool friends are in that class. Well, almost all of them.

did I mention I changed my minor to Professional Writing instead of literature?… I like writing more than I like reading. next term I may change my major too. idk. we'll see.

<3

Soooo confused

Ok. So.

First Jace flirts with me. then he seems uninterested, but likes to talk to me. We eat lunch together w/ his friend three times a week, and I have class with him the other two days. he'll text me and we talk after classes about our books and characters and dreams (the literal ones, about zombie-filled jewelry shops and aliens in dorm buildings) and say things like "text me and we'll hang out."

so then I text him. and he implies that he doesn't want to hang out. so I figure I'm annoying him and give him a break from me, and just talk to him when I see him.

then he flirts again. he teases me and touches my hair and knocks into me on purpose. today he stole my cucumber off of my plate.

I'm so confused. I don't know what he wants and I can't tell if I'm annoying him or not. and unless he has some major revival or something, I'm never going to marry the guy.

I mean he could change. I hope I'm around to see it, I hope I can be the tool God uses to show him what a Christian really lives like. Because right now, he ain't livin' it.

Anyway. that's what's annoying me right now.

And that on every episode on NCIS Saturday the criminal was trying to kill Abby. And she's my favorite.

I got three boxes in the mail today, and a letter and a small parcel. I ended up getting a card from a sweet lady in our church, three books, and two pairs of pointe shoes <3 <3 <3 so excited about those shoes!!!!! I'm currently working on fixing them. I've put about two hours into them so far, it'll take about four more before they're usable.

and I'm working on a few knitting projects. :)

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