so yesterday I got up early for church and went out to breakfast. It was a bit pricey, but it was worth it: coffee and pancakes and eggs. yum! That place is on my favorites list.
Today I got my microwave out of storage (did I mention they don't have a microwave? how do you not have a microwave?) and plugged it in in my room. I started to heat up some water, but the microwave, the heater, and my computer combined blew a fuse. so now I have no electricity in my room until I either a) find the fuse box and fix it or b) confess my sinful microwave.
I refuse to give up my sinful coffee-drinking ways. Not yet, anyway.
I went to school and asked for an advance on my financial aid. Our system is retarded. They credit the financial aid to your account for like three weeks before they deposit it into your account (which takes another week). I have my textbook: I need the money now, and I need it for gas and food (coughcoffeecough). Anyway now I'm waiting for my advance to be approved.
I'm supposed to go home this weekend and visit my grandparents. I'm going to swing by and pick up Spheal. I miss him terribly.
Dad said he'd give me gas money for the trip. but I think he's planning on giving it to me on the way back… which means my paycheck I get on Thursday has to go directly into the tank. unless of course my advance gets approved.
being an adult is complicated.
also being paid only sixty dollars a week is complicated. that's why I have an etsy shop. which, btw, you should go look at.
you feel refreshed because you're used to getting up early and going to bed early
it's quiet
it's healthier for your body
Cons:
You physically can't stay awake past midnight, which can be annoying when you know the only way you're going to get everything done is if you pull an all-nighter.
so, this is why, as much as I love getting up early, I'm going to have to train myself to sleep in and stay up late from now on. because this isn't working.
When you're one of the best dancers in the class, but nobody wants to partner you, so the teacher has to assign someone to dance with you for the final performance, and the whole time your boyfriend would KILL to be your partner.
I'm a ballerina and an athlete. At the top of my form, I weigh about 120 pounds and have a 14% or less body fat percentage. I don't get my period regularly. When I do, I have mood swings.
And that's personal.
I choose to talk about it on this blog because 1) it's my blog and 2) I'm trying to make a point. so stick with me.
Say I work for an employer. That employer firmly believes that birth control is a sin, and that women who are using it so they can have sex without getting pregnant are sinning. (which, mind you, is totally unbiblical.) That employer could legally get the information me, ask me to get a doctor's note saying that I don't take it so I can have as much guilt-free sex as I want, and if I can't get that note,
he can legally fire me.
Their reasoning? it's against the employer's first amendment rights to his freedom of religion.
This is why it's wrong:
1. We have the freedom of religion, but not the freedom to impress our religion on other people.
Basically, that employer would be pushing is beliefs on her, and taking legal action against her because of it. That is unconstitutional.
2. We have freedom of speech, the press, and religion, but NOT the "freedom to not be offended."
If something offends you, I'm sorry! get over yourself. I go to college, I see crap that offends me all the time. I offend people all the time. They don't sue me.
3. She has freedoms too.
My mom—and my grandma, and my Criminal Justice teacher, and almost every other important person I've ever met—says "your rights end where mine begin." He can't take her rights away and step into her personal space just because he feels like it. the moment he throws away regard for her rights and her freedom, he looses privileges to his own.
these steps are easier said than done. I understand that. But I've been thinking about this for a while, and although I'm not an expert, I just feel like ranting today.
basically, the government is doing some stupid things, we as people are doing stupid things.
so here are my thoughts.
do tell me what you think.
stop buying things from China
have the criminals in our system build factories (this will keep them busy and replace the factories from China)
have the criminals build a wall around the USA so immigrants can't sneak in.
Provide a way for illegal immigrants to become legal citizens. This process will include learning the language and passing a language test, sending the children to our schools, and the men over age 18 will serve in the military for 4+ years. Then they can become legal citizens and they will have earned their stay.
the unemployed of America –not the criminals—can work in the factories. No experience required, and it will be a job that will give the experience required to get a new job.
the government will get their hands out of our school systems. the schools will get a certain amount of money, and then the schools will have their own policies about EVERYTHING. also: parents can choose which school to send their kids too, whether or not they live nearby.
teachers pay will be doubled, if not raised even more than that. the jobs will be more competitive, and our kids will actually get an education.
congressmen should get paid less, and have to pay taxes, and take care of their own retirement plans, and buy their own health insurance etc.
the government should stay out of health insurance. end of conversation.
stop sending help and financial aid out of the country. natural disasters are terrible. but that's not their job: that's the church's job.
my eyes suck at being eyes. they hurt so bad right now. plus my knee hurts, and my head hurts because the coffee hasn't hit my system yet, and I feel crabby because I miss the boy. good grief do I miss him.
sometimes I feel so good, like I'm on top of the world and ahead of the game because I studied, I finished my homework, I sold something on my etsy shop (called the yarn cat, btw. I won't link it for anonymity sake). or maybe I learned something new, like I learned something about my novel, or how to crochet or tat lace (all three of which happened recently).
other times, like today, I feel like a slacker because I got up at 11 only because I knew I had to take my meds at the same time every day to avoid my period coming three weeks early, and I've spent the past three hours browsing the interwebs, drinking coffee, eating a donut, and just being lazy.
plus, now, because my eyes suck at being eyes, and I've spent a while staring at a screen, my eyes hurt worse than they did when I woke up.
I want my glasses!!! they are being "processed" (whatever that means). I just hope they work—like, I hope I got all the numbers right.
Sis is sitting with me. apparently Jeff is mad at her—again—so she's hanging out with me.
I am procrastinating. I am supposed to be working on a makeup morgue.
I have a ton of books to read too.
I need to get working.
but all I want to do is brows etsy and work on my crochet squares. I think I'm going to make a little baby quilt. :)
John and his mother are coming to visit me next friday I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!1
Today I'm going to write about something very controversial.
"Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel."
"Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world."
"Make disciples in every nation."
As Christians, our job is very clear. We are to share the gospel with the nations, make disciples, and glorify God by serving others. Every year we send tons of missionaries into other countries. Churches go on missions trips. We send money oversees to AIDS victims and earthquake victims.
But there are still homeless people here. Sick people, hurt people, prostitutes, drug addicts, people needing Christ.
You don't have to go into another country to serve Christ. In fact, you shouldn't, unless you've run out of people in your neighborhood and immediate area to serve.
Now, some people are specifically called to go to certain places. They learn the language, they meet people/marry people in those other countries, and they move out there. But they live there, and those people have become their immediate neighbors!
The point is, before you send your money oversees and dedicate your time to places in other countries—however awesome it is—check out your local soup kitchen, goodwill, homeless shelter, or mid-point house for orphans. They need Christ to.
To my Nerdfighters: I see nothing wrong with decreasing World Suck.
Racism will never go away until we stop talking about it.
Now that's not to say that we should forget our history. But if we continue to make a big deal over what happened so many years ago, and continue to practically worship the people who gave their lives to change it, we will never move on. And until we can move on, the hate and anger from our ancestors still lives in us.
You're free now. Get over it.
This is not meant to offend anyone who is black or is related to someone who is black (or however you like your skin color referred too). I'm just saying… if we had a white history day, we'd never hear the end of it. why is that, do you think?
BTW, Berean is a term from Acts 17, where the church in Berea was congratulated because they tested everything they were being taught against what they knew was true from the old testiment. I consider myself non-denominational, but also a Berean, because I test everything I hear against what I know to be true.
This is a nerdfighter video. I would ask you please watch it before reading the post. There are some weird sexual facts about bed bugs (awkward…) but I'd like you to watch it not only because it's interesting and funny, but it brings up a good point.
you can skip it if you really want, and my post will, hopefully, still make sense.
(note: I'd say this is for ages 16+)
My response:
It's interesting to me to see a non-Christian's perspective on homosexuality. Hank made this video for National Coming Out Day.
Sexual orientation is different than personality. One of the misconceptions poor Hank had was that since his personality mixed well with girls but he didn't have crushes on them, maybe his sexual orientation matched theirs, since his personality matched theirs.
I really like knives and violent movies. I like hanging out with guys. I write crime thrillers about kick-ass guys (and girls) who blow things up. Am I attracted to women because most of the time it's men who like movies like that? absolutely not. My Sis has mostly guy friends… I think she has three girlfriends total, and she's friends with them mostly because I am (Victory, her sister, and a girl in the state we used to live in). Does that mean our sexual orientations are closer on the scale of Male than of Female? I'd beg to differ. Our personalities might be, but sexual orientation is a totally different scale, and it's not really a scale at all. It's a box, and it's determined by your DNA and your anatomy. Again, some people get confused by their personality, but that doesn't determine your sexuality.
A lot of people say they "knew they were gay" or "were born this way," but science has shown us that when we really get to the bottom of homosexuality, it's usually because of a bad experience, or confusion, such as Hank's confusion, or the confusion of my character in my book. my character decides that she hates guys because they're mean, so if she hates guys, she MUST like girls! it made sense to a little kid at the time. when she falls in love with a guy in high school, she get's REALLY confused. sometimes but not always, someone will be confused because of sexual abuse as a child. Nobody is born gay. They are born male or female.
Now: do I have a problem with gay people? am I condemning them to hell? do I hate them? let me answer each one.
Do I have a problem with them? Define problem. I have a lot of homosexual friends. They are great friends to me. Some of my ballet students are gay. Some of my writing friends are lesbians. I write a novel about a girl who thinks she is a lesbian (email me if you're curious, because I'm not going to write about the book on this blog). Now: I have a problem with homosexuality itself. not the people, but the sin. It's disgusting. it makes me sad. it's against God's commands and it's against nature.
(if you disagree with me about it being against nature and tell me "almost every other species has homosexuality," my only argument is "every other species can still reproduce from homosexuality. they don't do it because they're confused, they do it because it's part of their survival. if two males can't have sex and have a baby, or two females can't have sex and have a baby, it's against nature.)
Also: It doesn't matter if I have a problem with it or not, because I'm not God (more on that below). God is the one who created us, God is the one who rules this universe and all of creation. If God is the one who has a problem with it, I would be smart if I were you and do what He says.
Second question: Am I condemning them to hell? no, I'm not. I'm not God. I'm a Christian, but I'm not God. Again, I hate the sin, not the people. My job on earth is to glorify God, enjoy Him forever, and go into all the world and preach the gospel and make disciples. My job is to love my neighbor as myself. My job is to trust and obey. You've heard it all before, but that's really what it boils down to. Take my life and let it be, ever only all for thee. My job is not telling people who is going to hell because of what they're doing. THAT IS GOD'S JOB. seriously. God is the one who says "You're disobeying me, you're in sin, you need my help, you need to come to me." God is the one who says "Take up your cross and follow me." God is the one who may say "Depart from me, I never knew you." (scariest words in the Bible, btw.) Condemning is not my job.
Third: Do I hate them? No. Based on everything you just read, do you think I hate them? Of course not. Again, I have homosexual friends. I don't hate them. I pray for them and I love them and I try to show them that true followers of Christ don't hate/condemn them, but that really we're no different than them.
That's right, I said it. Christians are no different than homosexuals. When it all boils down to it, we're all humans, we're all sinners, we're all separated from Christ. The only difference is Christians are redeemed, and homosexuals are not. But neither are serial killers. neither are drug addicts. neither are rapists. let's get a little dirtier: neither is your second grade math teacher who didn't believe in Jesus, but didn't tell you not to believe in Him either. neither is a Muslim or Buddhist. neither is a Catholic who believes they're going to heaven because they say Hail Mary's. (I'll write about my beliefs on Catholics another day, but in a nutshell: I believe some Catholics are saved, and some are not.) we're all dead, but Christ makes us alive.
Sin is sin. There are no degrees of sin. If my mom tells me I can have two and only two cookies, and I take three, that's sin. If I sleep with another woman, that's sin. It's the same word, it's the same meaning. I know it's a huge difference to us, but it's still sin to God, and He's the one who makes the rules, and I have no right to say any different. THAT right there is why I can't hate homosexuals: because they sin just like I do, their sin is no worse than mine, they are no different than me.
And I am commanded to love everyone as I love myself. Hopefully I love others more than I love myself.
Also: that amazing video that will BLOW YOUR MIND really is amazing. I kinda want to know the answer to the mystery!!! and I want to watch more videos by him.
Question for you:
Would you like more video response posts? And, was this absurdly long and did you skip it because I'm pathetic and long winded (or you were busy)?
I don't hat ehim, I just seriously dislike him. he eats sanitary pads out of the trash can and today he was chewing on paper towels. I can't figure out his morbid fascination with used paper.
I thought poodles were supposed to be smart… but he's retarded.
apparently he'll calm down after he gets fixed. he's got hormones pumping through is blood right now. we're hoping when certain organs are removed he calms down a little.
*mutters to herself* he's like a two-year-old and a nineteen-year-old boy at the same time!
im a little depressed because school is over. and although I want to go home I know I'm going to miss the independence and the freedom.
I'm also stressed because I really don't want to run into voldemort and I know I probably will, and I'm still not sure where we stand. he facebooked me back at one point, but we're still not even friends on facebook. I'm really not sure what to do about him. I'm just hoping I don't have to do anything, I'm sort of hoping I just don't see him at all.
but the probability of that in my itty bitty little town is extremely small.
I'm also really upset with myself. see for a while I was down to 122 pounds. I liked it down there. my legs looked really nice. but all my friends and family were worried about me for some reason, even though I was healthier then than I am now. but I got off the diet and started eating junk food again and I'm a lot heavier now. well, not a lot heavier now, like six or eight pounds heavier, but I hate myself again. I just do. maybe from a certain perspective my body is nice, but as a dancer, I'm a disaster. I want my legs back. and everything inside me is telling me to stop eating, even though I know from experience and education that THAT WILL NOT HELP ANYTHING. I did a freaking research report this semester on just that. but I feel like if I starve myself, I'll FEEL like it's helping.
I just have to start eating right again, I tell myself. then I go out and buy cookie dough.
I also haven't exercised as much as I'd like, but I blame it on my shoes. they're so worn out that everything hurts when I exercise, run or otherwise.
maybe it's PMS. it probably is. but right now it doesn't feel like that, it feels like I'm fat and ugly and worthless and I want to hide under my covers and talk to my characters because they'll listen and talk back and probably give me some pretty damn good advice. believe it or not, people who don't exist give really good advice. trust me, I've been listening to them for years. like when Derek said "do yourself a favor and make sure you know him before you decide if you like him or not." or when Nomi says stuff like "the people who don't like me aren't worth being my friends anyway." or when Lisa says "you're not responsible for other people's sins—you have a responsibility to God." I mean, I'd never come up with that stuff without them.
Right now It's Sophie. "There's a balance between taking care of your body, and enjoying food."
I want to enjoy food.
but I also want to look ok in a swimsuit. right now I sorta hang out of it.
doesn't matter. I'll be wearing shorts and a t-shirt over it anyway. at least that's what I tell myself to make me feel better about being fat.
stupid PMS. sometimes I just want to lose weight so I don't get my period anymore. but then I remember that if my parents found out about that, they'd take me out of school and make me gain weight.
stupid. stupid stupid stupid.
just ignore me. I don't think I'm serious about anything right now.
so last night I went up to do my laundry and my clothes had 7 minutes left on them because I'm a moron and can't count to thirty. anyway. I was sitting there waiting, thinking about how much easier it will be this week to walk around campus and know I'm not going to run into jace and have to suffer through trying to figure out what he wants, trying to be his friend, and trying to give him enough space not to be annoying all at the same time.
and of course, he walks in. it was pretty funny because the poor guy was so confused for a second—that 'what the hell are you doing here'—look. we talked for a few minutes and he gave me the hug he owed me—another long story—and invited me to hang out with his friends while they played some video game.
now I really don't like sitting and watching people sit and watch a screen, but it had to beet trying to sleep while my roommate argued with her boyfriend about Glee and her upcoming marriage proposal which, for some reason, she expects to be perfect and romantic, even though her boyfriend is an idiot.
so I took a shower and grabbed my knitting and went upstairs. the four of them had their laptops hooked up to a weird thing in the middle of the room and they were spread out around the room at various tables and chairs and there were chords everywhere. let's just say it was not what I expected and it was a maze to get in and out.
but I sat there for an hour and a half and worked on my headscarf and watched him play some weird game where he dug through solid rock for an hour to make his spiral staircase freestanding.
of course I got back to my room to discover I'd left my clothes lying on my bed, so I slept like that little boy in The Rescuers Down Under, with a pile of clothes on my bed. I think a sock fell in the night and landed in the trashcan.
so I am, once again, left confused. if you've been following this story, I met him, he liked me, he flirted with me, he stopped liking me but continued to flirt with me because that's just what jace does, he texted me all through Christmas break where we made a writers pact and neither of us followed through with it, then when I got back he ignored me for three weeks and wouldn't text me back, I stumbled across him and he acted as if nothing had happened but he STILL wouldn't text me back, then he insists he wants me to eat lunch with him regularly but I can never find him and, when I'm up there he never acknowledges me, then one night I had sam drag him down for donuts and he started texting me back, now he's inviting me to sit with him while he digs through rock for an hour on the computer and still manages to flirt with me while he does it.
Pardon mon francais, but what the hell does he want?
so here's the thing: this diet I was doing for school was taking over my life. After only three weeks I was at the point where I felt guilty for eating a brownie or peanut butter or a chicken patty. and the study was for my stress management class.
ironic?
so I'm done. I did it for about three weeks, and I'm going to put two of the three weeks up on the records and explain I couldn't continue doing it because of money, time, and stress, and how eventually I want to do the experiment on other people and for a long term. however, I did manage to drop my body fat percentage and weight over said two weeks. so I did what I set out to do. but for now, I'm done.
tonight for dinner, I hate a hamburger and pizza crust and a half a brownie and the whipped cream off a piece of cake. and I felt guilty for it and had to remind myself that I am now done with the retarded diet and I can eat what I want.
but even now I feel guilty.
I hate it! I want to be back at 130 or more pounds. and even though I won't look quite as great in a leotard, I chose to be satisfied with my body because I will never be thin enough to make myself happy.
see, I've always wanted to be about 115. I could do it if I worked really hard and had the time to exercise. but I like food. and I like it when my jeans fit. and I like having boobs.
but the thing is… even when I was down to 122 with a 14.8 body fat percentage, I still thought my legs were fat. I thought they weren't as fat, but I still looked at them and thought "ew. chubby jiggly yuck."
but unless I lost all my body fat and toned my muscles completely, I will never be satisfied. and the guilt I felt would have eventually, if I'd let myself keep going, become an eating disorder. not anorexia or bulimia, but still disordered eating to the point where I would be obsessed with losing weight.
thank God I'll never be a ballerina. He knew what He was doing by giving me bad arches and crappy knees and no turnout. He was saving me.
all I can say is, if you're not happy with your body, try changing it. you may change for good and be satisfied with the new change… or you may learn that you were satisfied all along.
So I found out that there are two City Ballets. (I'm calling it City Ballet instead of Cityname Ballet). One of them is a studio, one is the company. and the address the artistic director was wrong so my gps led me to an empty street corner. I was so confused.
But I know my way around that part of the city!
Home for spring break. I didn't tell my sister so when she saw me she was like "what the hell are you doing here?" then she started crying and hugging me. it was so sweet.
over break I've been working for my dad and making some money, working on my book, and working at the theatre painting a set that my dad doesn't have time to do (but we need to work in exchange for getting out ad in the playbill).
so far it's been really nice. I'm sorta missing the mountains though. I don't miss the food or the boredom. I miss dancing. I miss the gym. I miss the freedom. but I love my family and they aren't bad.
saw voldemort the other day in walmart. sorta freaked me out. I didn't expect him to be there because it was so late in the evening. he smiled at me and looked really confused and waved. I wanted to go hide behind something. he freaks me out for some reason. I guess now that I don't have a good reason to hate him—besides poking me in the arm with a dead crayfish—I'm back to where I was in high school. still haven't added him on facebook though. I deleted him when I thought he'd texted my little sister about dirty sex. (that was resolved).
but he sorta sticks in my head. maybe that's because he's inspired several of my books, or maybe it's just because he's annoying. what if I run into him again? ugh. I need to go back to school. or he needs to disappear forever and never bother me again, not even in my head.
and my daddy needs to find me a husband. fast. because there are creepy people everywhere I go and I can't say "im married" because it's a lie right now.
and im tired and rambling so don't listen to anythign I say.
I have to write a memoir for class. memoir? really? because I've experienced so much in my life. I mean I have. I could write about being a stupid depressed teenager. I could write about ballet. I could write about voldemort! but I really don't feel like it. I don't want to revisit that stuff and I don't want to share it with anyone. I don't want to write about the voices or the hallucinations or anything. but I have to write about something. it has to be 750-1000 words.
maybe summer camp? or when I was little and doing gymnastics? I dunno. I just don't want to write about the depression or the stupid boy.
I'm angry at myself more than anything. I've done it again. jace is ignorning me. I've annoyed him to the point that he's exhasperated, and he's done putting up with me.
but I have no idea what I did.
same thing happened with Voldemort. of course I hate voldemort, and I don't hate jace. I like jace. probably more than I should. he's a nice guy, he's hard not to like. voldey? he was was really easy not to like.
so now I've scared off my closest friend on campus. I feel exactly where I was before, last semester at the beginning of the school year, when Sarah was the only person I knew. only now I know more people and they're sort of my friends, but I don't know them very well.
I really hope I'm wrong. that's all I can say. in fact I hope I'm wrong about voldemort as well. but I don't think I am about either. unless someone stole voldemort's phone and texted my sister on it, and jace lost his phone and just decided not to eat for the past few days.
and it hurts more than it should. I knew he could never be more than a friend because he's just not right for me. but he was a good friend. for three months.
that's fine. God is enough. well Lacrae thinks so. and I know so. it's just annoying. why can't I keep a friend for more than a few months?
one of these days I'll be somebody's "normal," not someone's "weird friend." maybe he'll love me enough to marry me.
I hate boys. maybe I'll just never get married. bah! humbug.
*tear*
and we've had a foot and a half of snow, so classes are canceled.
I have no words. I want to go home. to school where I BELONG. where at least I have a few friends. where people aren't being bitchy all the time. I always thought I grew up in a home with six Christians. I'm seeing now that that is not the case. and it's getting really painful.
my poor brother. I'm trying to convince him that he needs to not date this girl he likes because he's leaving for school next fall, and he needs to get through college and get a good job and establish himself before putting a girl in the picture. he doesn't believe me. he's all "imma be a musician and they all start off broke so it's ok" and "well I can do long distance" and such. it's scaring me.
been trying to pound some sense into his head for the past month. he doesn't seem to be absorbing any of it.
I've made a list. A list of things I want in a husband, and I've promised not to settle for anyone who doesn't meet every single requirement. That takes a few people off the "potentials" list, even if they did change. Of course that also leaves the list blank. But I'm trying to relax and not worry about it.
I've managed to eat half of the huge chocolate lava cupcake my mom sent me for my birthday. I've also managed to gag and cough and break out on my chin. But I really needed the chocolate because I'm going to be alone and doing homework and on my period on my 19th birthday. I've had sucky birthdays, but at least my mom was going to be there to give me a hug.
I've dislocated my knee again. hey, I never said this list was things I managed to do right. my knee tape started peeling last night—got caught on my pjs—and today I squirmed in bed or something and popped it. so now it hurts. good job silly girl!
I've managed to miss a call from my best friend
I've written 2.5 of the 5 annotations for my annotated bibliography. due on Thursday. it shouldn't be too bad though, because the articles are so short I'll probably finish by tomorrow afternoon.
I helped a friend
I got a ride home for thanksgiving
I made a pair of mittens for my grandma that she likes
I managed to miss dinner with two sets of friends (one with Derek and his friends and another with Sarah and her friends, whose birthday is today) and miss creative writing club because I was so sick and tired and nasty from this stupid period.
I managed not to fall asleep in either of my classes today
I've managed to feel depressed, lonely, tired, sick, and rejected all in about four seconds simply because my teacher said something along the lines of "You guys are all English majors!" and I'm literally the only one in the class who isn't.
I've managed to make a complete disaster of my room.
I've managed to fill up my laundry bag with all my favorite clothes, leaving me with only crappy boring shirts and ugly sweat pants. not like it matters because I have acne again and I feel like shit because I'm on my freaking period.
I've managed to go several days without reading my bible, which is why I feel tired and lonely and depressed. Why do I do this? because I'm like the Israelites.
I've managed to break my Ethernet cable somehow—or maybe it was already broken—and it doesn't lock into my computer, so it's always slipping out and making me lose connections.
I've managed to take a four hour nap in the middle of the day.
I've managed to escape Starbucks without ordering anything at least twice in the past week
I've managed to only eat one piece of pizza—and whose idea was it to put pineapple on pizza anyway? idiots. I can' believe I used to like that stuff.
I've (somehow) managed to burn the top of my mouth—maybe it was the pizza—and I have a nasty piece of skin hanging in my mouth that I can't get off and it's driving me mad
I've managed to have a whole conversation with Jace without him flirting with me. (at least I don't think he was flirting with me.)
I've managed to stop picking my nails, both recently and long term. I no longer bleed when I touch things and I have fingernails :)
I've managed to figure out almost every Christmas present I need to make, and have finished a few of them
I've managed to make a backup of all my novels
I've managed to start getting over Voldemort…
I've managed to make a list of 25 things I've managed.
remember Voldemort? yeahhhh just found out he did something recently that has something to do with my family. just in case, I won't say anything specific. but oh my God I could kill him.
