End of week 1!

So I've just finished the first week of my internship. I haven't had a lot of blog time. So here's a quick run-down:

Day 0: Sunday—move-in day. I got here Sunday, met my employer, moved into my room, and met a few people. My room is the top floor of the commons cabin (where everyone eats and makes phone calls and has internet access). while I was moving in a wasp came into my room. freaked me out. I went to bed covered in blankets so it couldn't find me because I heard a buzzing at my window all night long.

Day 1: Monday—do-nothing day. also, I woke up and discovered that the buzzing at my window was a mayfly caught between the glass and the screen. I felt dumb.

My employer—We'll call him James—said he wanted me to get acclimated to the area. So I sat around my room and worked on some knitting/crocheting projects, and I explored the town a little. it's really cute. I found the Walmart and I got some food. I made some lentels and ate some leftover rice I found in the fridge.

Day 2: Tuesday—started work. met with James, reconciled some bank statements, and edited the newsletter.

Day 3: Wednesday—I wrote a speech that will introduce people to the facility I'm staying at. James liked it.

Day 4: Thursday—James was out of town, so I didn't do anything today except hang around.

Day 5: Friday (today)—hung around until 12, when I went into town to drop off a basket of stuff for the people to whom we're giving the speech on saturday. then I worked on emailing people for James.

then I set the table (because I felt like it) and went to Ingles to get some food for this weekend (because I want to eat healthy).

Now I'm sitting outside smelling really yummy food while (Cook is cooking).

Also: My car is totaled. sad days.

This weekend

This weekend I went to Spheal's apartment and picked him up, and took him to my parent's house. We visited with my grandparents on Saturday, and then left Sunday at about 10:30

My grandma gave me something really special: she gave me the watch her father gave her on her eighteenth birthday. It's really pretty, and it still works. I want to make a new band for it that matches the design, because the band right now is just a black strap and it's broken. But I fix and make jewelry all the time. it'll be a piece of cake.

The funny thing is I've actually been wanting a watch for a while. I'm sort of compulsive about time, and I like to know what time it is in class. but I can't check my phone in class! duh. so yeah.

I'll post a picture when I fix it. :)

Another project I want to do this week is make a seat cushion for my car. I lost circulation in the bottom half of my body about 4 hours into the drive… that was annoying. Also it's impossible for me to sit up straight in my car because of the angle of the seat—unless there's a pillow or something behind my back. so I'm going to take care of that eventually.

I also started another crochet afghan. I think I'm going to make it a full size one, and do little flowers or blue-birds on the plain squares. I'll sell it or donate it or something.

and I'm working on a baby sweater. it's purple and white. swo cute!

and I'm decorating a tutu for one of my students.

I miss spheal. a lot.

:(

spring break and starbucks

Got up at 6 like a good ballerina, but then decided that I didn't want to go to the gym because 1. it's cold outside and 2. my ankle is still a little sore from the sprain, and I need to dance this evening, so I'd better plan to save my strength for that.

so now I'm just sitting here waiting for starbucks to open so I can get some coffee and read my Bible and maybe read another book for a while as well. preferably the one I need to read for school before 1:30 today. yeah. should probably get on that.

spring break was awesome. I didn't write much over break, mostly because John was hanging out with me constantly (like we literally didn't leave each other's sides unless 1. we were sleeping or 2. he had to go to class.

which I really can't complain about because I adore the boy.

anyway.

We got there Friday evening. I met his first cousin and his first cousin's wife ( who didn't seem to like me very much, for no reason in particular other than she was PMSing) and then Saturday the sweetheart brought me coffee when I woke up. I don't really remember what we did every day in particular, but essentially, we watched a lot of movies, sat on the couch and read Rage comics, went out to eat a few times, had a candle-lit dinner, played laser-tag and assassin's creed, and watched youtube videos.

just typical geek stuff.

3 more weeks of school. then I'm done. THANK GOD.

then summer starts.

joy.

last night I had a dream that I had a knife stuck in my chest and I couldn't take it out because it would kill me, and I couldn't get to the emergency room because Sis was in the car, and I couldn't call 911 because I didn't have a phone, and when I finally did have a phone, I couldn't find the 9.

-_-

I hate putting titles on posts when im tired.

So I'm trying to wake up early more, so I can study, and do my Bible study and work out (because I haven't done any sort of exercise in like three weeks). I got up at 6 yesterday and got all sorts of great things done, but at 8:30 I went to bed because I was so tired, I couldn't even crochet.

This morning I got up at 6 again, and sat on my chair for an hour. So that was wasted time. Then I went to the bagel shop—because rather than wash my dishes so I could eat breakfast in my room, I spent the hour sitting on my chair wishing John was with me. I got my coffee (well, espresso drink) and a muffin, and found a couch in the University Center, and sat down to knit or study or something… and fell asleep. Luckily I didn't have class until 9:30, so I slept until y 9:10 alarm went off.

I feel better now.

But I totally would have slept until my 12:30 class.

I forgot I had a quiz/test thing today (all about the muscles in the foot) and studying right now isn't going to do squat, so I'm dreading the quiz/test thing.

after class, I'm going to get coffee—some REAL COFFEE—and take my pills, and knit my hat so I can sell it on my shop and earn some money because I'm very poor. not broke, but poor.

also: apparently selling a knit domo on etsy breaks copyright laws. note to self: DON'T BREAK COPYRIGHT LAWS!

I had some odd dreams last night too. one of them was I dreamed I found a hat I'd knitted, and shrunk and turned into a baby hat. which was sad because it was one of my favorites.

I also dreamed John and I were married. :) (No details about that dream.)

no, I'm kidding. it wasn't bad. we were just sitting together. okay there may have been some kissing. okay there was a lot of kissing.

JOHN IS COMING ON FRIDAY!!!!! GAH!!!

~em

blahhhh

my eyes suck at being eyes. they hurt so bad right now. plus my knee hurts, and my head hurts because the coffee hasn't hit my system yet, and I feel crabby because I miss the boy. good grief do I miss him.

sometimes I feel so good, like I'm on top of the world and ahead of the game because I studied, I finished my homework, I sold something on my etsy shop (called the yarn cat, btw. I won't link it for anonymity sake). or maybe I learned something new, like I learned something about my novel, or how to crochet or tat lace (all three of which happened recently).

other times, like today, I feel like a slacker because I got up at 11 only because I knew I had to take my meds at the same time every day to avoid my period coming three weeks early, and I've spent the past three hours browsing the interwebs, drinking coffee, eating a donut, and just being lazy.

plus, now, because my eyes suck at being eyes, and I've spent a while staring at a screen, my eyes hurt worse than they did when I woke up.

I want my glasses!!! they are being "processed" (whatever that means). I just hope they work—like, I hope I got all the numbers right.

Sis is sitting with me. apparently Jeff is mad at her—again—so she's hanging out with me.

I am procrastinating. I am supposed to be working on a makeup morgue.

I have a ton of books to read too.

I need to get working.

but all I want to do is brows etsy and work on my crochet squares. I think I'm going to make a little baby quilt. :)

John and his mother are coming to visit me next friday I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!1

~em

where's waldo?

more like "where's emily?"

yes, the truth is out. I call myself emily on this blog. it's not my real name. long story there ;)

Back at school. It feels good to be back. Sis is moved in. I think she's still sleeping.

We left Thursday night at 10:30pm and drove through the night. We got to school at 5:30. Record time! It was actually pretty fun. Once we got past midnight, it wasn't hard to stay awake. I like driving at night. It's a lot more relaxing. There's no traffic. There's no huge trucks (well, okay, there are some, but there's plenty of room on the road to pass them). And  most of the time, the only headlights on the road are mine! So I don't get blinded!! yay!

Anyway, our ID cards worked at 5:30, so we went into the dorms. Sis and Jeff (more on him later) crashed in commons rooms. I slept in my own bed for the first time in almost a month. I fell asleep about 6am.

and woke up at 9:30am.

because I had forgotten to bring in my medicine and I didn't want to go into withdrawal.

so I got on some clothes and shoes and went out to the car and got my meds and by the time I'd taken them, I was awake (it was cold outside) so I just started unpacking and cleaning and stuff.

we were busy until 6:30pm, when I finally died. I was organizing my yarn (it's still a mess, but it's better) but I just crashed. so I called John for a few minutes, and went to bed at 7.

now im up and I need to go to walmart and get food so I can eat something besides chocolate and doughnuts for breakfast.

okay so: Jeff. Jeff is Sis's friend. She met him last Christmas. I was at college last year, and she was lonely. She met two guys: Jeff, and Blake. the relationship between them was a young adult novel, and one day I'm going to write about something like it and make a lot of money.

anyway. Jeff is a good friend of hers, and he just transferred up to school with us. so you'll be hearing more about him.

lastly: last night I had a dream that everyone thought I pulled a fire alarm in a building and they were going to arrest me. but it turned out I was really a super-hero detective, and I helped them solve the case. I used Jesus-power. (no seriously: my ID said "Christ appointed detective with the Power of God.") anyway then these demons came to our house and I had to destroy them so they wouldn't kill my family, and it was really hard, but I did it using wit and Jesus-power and a really cool gun that shot blue bullets and made things explode.

kinda wish I hadn't woken up.

Super-emily to the rescue!!!

A little bit of ketchup

I've had an excellent week. I drove up to John's house the day after Christmas (Monday) and we headed out to Virginia to visit his extended family. His family is pretty awesome. I like them. They adore me, for some reason I can't quite figure out. They even got me Christmas presents before they met me! I have a lot of thank you notes to write this year... sadly, all my stationary is at school, so they'll take a while.

I think when I send out thank you notes, I'll also write Christmas cards, and send out a newsletter about what's been going on in my life. That way I don't have to write the same thing a gazillion times.

Anyway. We're back at John's house, and he and I are going to drive back to my place so he can stay with us for a while. He's been doing some work for my dad.

It's just been an awesome time. I finally feel like I've had a Christmas break: I've been chilling out, watching movies with John, talking to his family and gaining more and more of his mother's trust, and getting to know the guy I'm going to marry one day.

So now I'm going to get off of his laptop, and go brush my teeth. I think we're going to get pizza today, and then get COLDSTONE!!! (he found out I like coldstone because we were reading my book, the one about the two kids who meet over facebook and fall in love? if you want more info on that, email me ;))

anyway.

I'll be home by this afternoon. :)

back home

well, we made it alive. we had to drop off one of Sis's friends in Charlotte, and we got stuck in traffic for an hour and a half. then it was raining. and on the last leg of the trip (about 2.5 hours) we both got food poisoning and had to pull over at a Harris Teeter and take a bathroom break.

C'est la vie.

or as John says it, Vie la C'est.

or as John accidently says it sometimes, Cie la Vey.

Whatever.

We got to John's house Friday night at about 11:30. Sis and I talked with him and his folks for a little while, and then they went to bed. John and I went upstairs and hung out until 2:30 in the morning, which was so much fun I can't even explain it. It was just so nice to sit and talk face to face (and, okay, he is so warm and soft and is an awesome hugger. and there may have been a kiss or two thrown in there too). we ended the night by watching Family Guy, which is his favorite tv show (in case you don't know what it is, it's so dumb, but it's hilarious.)

next morning John's mom and Sis and I went to Starbucks and got coffee (because she loves to dote on us) and then she showed us some of her really cool Christmas ornaments. then John and I took Sis to a MtG shop where she hung out for a few hours, and then we went downtown to a knitting shop, an antique shop, a tea shop, and a CHOCOLATE BAKERY. omg. he got me this yummy thing that idk what it was, chocolate covered cheesecake with cream and fudge or something. man it was yummy.

then we took Sis to the mall and walked around a little and looked at sweaters and I got really inspired.

then we left. that was the sad part. but Sis drove so I didn't have to.

we're finally back. now we're just chilling at home. I'm eating a microwaved chicken pot pie.

(some things never change)

dad is drawing. Sis and Joe (her guy friend) and Ears are playing magic. Fish is coming down with a cough. Mom is watching Holiday Inn upstairs.

And I am on my period exactly when I'm supposed to be. The birth control worked. I also didn't have ANY mood crashes this month, thanks to the anxiety meds. I have never been so happy to have a period.

Of course it's not exactly comfortable, so I'm not really enjoying myself, but I feel like a functional woman, and that's nice.

the only thing I have to do now is find some jeans that won't fall off. John wants to get me some for Christmas. I might let him. :)

He's coming up soon. in a few days. He'll spend some time here before Christmas, and then stay for the day-before-christmas-eve party, and then go home with his parents. and then the day after Christmas I'm going up there and visiting some family with them.

yay. this is going to be a fun Christmas.

also.

I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL FOR THE SEMESTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOSH I AM SO HAPPY.

that is all.

school and work and frozen toes

okay tonight im not going to blog about John because im sure it's beginning to annoy everyone. now there's nothing wrong between us, but I need to write about other things.

1. school is INSANE. I have way too much to do. yet somehow or another im managing to get it all done.

2. the diet thing is going okay, I sort of do really well for about a week and then eat pizza, or a latte, or chocolate, and gain all the weight back again (I say all, I mean the half pound or the one percent I lost) so it's sort of okay but not really. I have a goal: I want to be able to fit into my black lace leotard by the end of the semester. I really hope I can meet that goal. because it's a pretty leotard. and I would really like to loose about 2 percent. that would put me about where I need to be for a dancer.

3. I have like eight knitting projects that im working on and I REALLY need to finish them….. gah. im making mittens for Jace (because I promised him I would) and mittens for Dylan (again, it was a request) and a scarf for John, and a hat for Mom, and a hat for Dad, and I haven't even figured out for Sis, or Fish, or Ears. I know what I want to make Victory, but I haven't started it yet, and I can't say what it is because she reads this blog :P

4. this morning when I got up it was 31 degrees outside. this brought me great joy. for someone who has very little body fat to keep her warm, I love the cold. of course this is somewhat problematic because I do get up at 6am every morning and work out, and it's pretty cold at 6am when the sun has been down for 10 hours… yah. brrrr. good thing I run inside!!

4. work is great right now, because I'm literally getting paid to make pottery. im supposed to be doing samples, and im taking pictures and making project sheets. I tutor ballet sometimes, but my students haven't been regular. and im doing a volunteer thing with the theatre… I get to work backstage for the costumes for Sweeney Todd. yay! I don't get paid, but It'll get me in with the faculty and hopefully make me some contacts… future internships? maybe.

5. thanksgiving is coming up and Sis and I are going back home. we're kidnapping John and we're going to make turkey and yams with marshmallows and cocoa and John and I will go for walks in the evening and it will be wonderful. I know that was a run-on sentence and I know im not capitalizing or punctuating anything but I don't care. :)

<3

Ketchup

catch-up.

so stupid mobile blogger isn't letting me post more than a page. and anyone who knows me or who has been following this blog very long knows I'm just a little wordy, so I don't do the whole 160 characters thing.

here's what's been going on with me lately:

Friday the 2, Sis and I went home for the weekend for Labor Day after her classes, so we didn't leave until 2:30-ish. We stopped on our way home and I got to see John for about an hour and a half. it was almost torture because I wanted to stay forever but it was already about 9:00pm, and we couldn't stay any longer.

Saturday was a bit of a blur, I remember sleeping in but not much else. But that evening John called me, and we talked for a while. he asked me a funny question: "when does your church service start?" shortly thereafter he said he was going to visit last year's roommate the next day, and his roommate lives in my hometown. I was thinking "yeah okay you're driving two hours to see your roommate who hasn't spoken to you in several months, but you aren't mentioning visiting me, even though I live fifteen minutes away. you're hiding something."

turns out he was.

Because Sunday he showed up for church.

this brought me immense joy. I knew he'd be there, but it still made me so happy. I sat through sunday school thinking "I thought he would be here. it was so obvious." I even saw a car like his drive up. I got all panicky but it wasn't him.

of course I turned around and checked later, just as he was coming through the door…which is something I've been doing lately. it's like I can sense when he's around me. he hasn't snuck up on me once.

Yes. I was very happy. I asked him why he came and he was like "duh, I came to talk to your dad."

wow.

anyway, he did, and he got my dad's permission to peruse me, so we're officially "dating". which is weird because this time last year I was telling people I was going to have an arranged marriage. which was more of a "approved courtship with adult supervision" anyway, but that's such a mouthful.

I miss my boyfriend… (that's weird. I have a boyfriend. this is so weird.) I won't see him until Thanksgiving.

Irene is sitting on my parents.

there's a hurricane at my hometown. my folks have had no AC or electricity for almost a day now. im a bit worried about them, but I know they'll be alright.

last night sis and I went on a camping trip with the Baptist Campus Ministry. it was cool. I met some new people, showed off my awesome pocket knife to the guys (and they were like "dude, this is SICKKK.") and played some fun games.

but I was hot and dehydrated and I did NOT want to sleep out where bugs may be, so sis and I went home at about 11 and slept in our air conditioned rooms on supportive mattresses.

today I went to the gym and ran 2 miles. it felt awesome! and I have decided that starting monday, im going to get back into my regular routine. my body needs it and my soul needs it too.

(this consists of getting up early to run, probably outside as the weather is still nice, then going to the gym for PT, then coffee and breakfast and bible study with sis.)

I miss John. he called me on friday for like two or three hours (my dad is going to flip because I know it'll show up on the phone bill) because he couldn't talk to me much the past week.

He's seriously considering transferring to my school next fall.

AND THE HORRIBLE THING THAT HAD HAPPENED TO HIM THAT WASN'T HIS FAULT? IT'S ALL OVER. some of you know exactly what I mean, and for those of you who don't? essentially someone got him in trouble for something he didn't do and it was keeping him from getting a job and getting into school. and now it's over and done with. it's such a relief!

going to shower and then explore the downtown area with sis.

<3 :)))

 

ps as you can tell, im not telling you what I eat for a while. I haven't quite gotten my self discipline back yet ;)

back to the grindstone.

Worked out this morning. if you can call it that. I ran four laps and stretched. it took 15 minutes. but by the end of the fall semester, I'll be working out two to three hours every morning. I'm just really weak right now.

classes today weren't really classes, they were more like "meet the teacher and read the syllabus" day. so that's what we did. I have one of my favorite teachers for English. he's very funny. he was born in the wrong century, he should have been born in England in the 18th century. because that's where he fits in… and yet he makes Monty Python jokes and accepts cultural event reports about Zombie Walks.  I'm taking a ballet class and helping the teacher in part of another dance class. I'm excited :D

John called me for a few minutes around lunch. he really missed me and I told him I had some time, so we chatted for a little while. I miss him.

later this afternoon I went to starbucks and tried to work on one of my books, but it wasn't working so I gave up and facebooked John for a while, but then facebook wasn't working so I gave up on that. so I went to the cookout behind our dorm and attempted to eat a crappy hamburger and failed miserably (I hate about half a bite) and sat there opening and closing my knife that John gave me (yes, he gave me a knife. dumb, right?). then who should show up but Jace!

and let me tell you. it's so much easier to be just a friend to guys when you've got another guy on your mind.

now I can still appreciate beauty. Although Jace chopped off all his hair and shaved his beard so he looks completely different—still attractive, but different— still handsome, but not quite as sexy as he was with a head of blond curls. I threatened to kill him. so he took away my knife.

anyway, he loves speaking french and I have to study french so we're going to hang out and study french together. I hope. because that would be awesome.

the only thing I'm worried about is this… I need to make some new friends this year because Sarah and Katie and Jace and a lot of other people I know are graduating in the spring, and I won't have any friends left :( so I need to make some new friends.

so for food this week, I'm focusing on boosting my metabolism. I'll eat well too, but more than anything I'm trying to get the metabolism up. so don't kill me for eating pizza.

Breakfast: 3/4 cup oatmeal, little cinnamon, 1 tsp wheat germ, 1/2 cup whole milk. this is nasty. I didn't realize wheat germ tasted nasty by itself. but its good for me so I'm going to eat it anyway. ew. I only ate half of it.

snack: Naked Acai berry drink. almost the whole thing. basically that's two days worth of fruit. I love that stuff.

lunch: Natural crunchy Peanut butter and strawberry preserves on french bread. yum! (and water.)

snack: a few triscuit's

late snack: small 3-meat pizza.  and the rest of my chocolate cake. and okay, a starbucks drink. I sort of lost it about 5:00.

im sowwy

I know ive been really bad about blogging lately. here's why:

1. ive been working for my dad teaching art camps. I know right? im a freaking art teacher. John teases me about the bodies of problem students being stored in my freezer.
2. there's been a lot to say, but I wanted to just sit down and write it all out in a nice long post, but that takes time, and time is something I don't have a lot of.
3. im sick as a dog.
4. my aunt is visiting from CA so we've been playing tour guides and entertainers for the past week. and the week before that was house cleaning. and I mean serious cleaning. my mom dusted books and sorted through her scrapbooking papers.

so here's what's happened.

1. yes I was PMSing. (and yes you did need to know that random awkward detail). That was Wednesday I believe…maybe tuesday. Not sure. anyway I was such a mess. I went to the store and worked on some art stuff for several hours. I was stressed, crying over the phone with John, yeah it was horrible.
2. John explained to me how the middle finger came about. yeah I know that's random. it's actually really funny and I'll write about it some time.
3. Last Friday I took Ears, Sis, and Mat (her boy-friend who isn't her boyfriend) to some card shops. while they bought MTG cards, I hung out with John. (and Victory: THIS was the first date, he said so. so there. hah! ;D) We went out to pizza and went back to his place and I met his dad. then we watched a movie called RED: Retired Extremely Dangerous—and it was awesome. it was my kind of movie: spies, dangerous weapons, fight scenes, huge explosions, and undying love.
4. Saturday mom and I went up to get my aunt from the air port, and we visited John's family while we were up there. our mothers went shopping, John and I went around town for a drive, and then went back to his place (his dad was there)  and sat on the couch and talked. it was so nice.
5. this week I got new pointe shoes that fit me so well and look great on my feet!! im so excited. they cost me almost $200 for two pairs, but they're great. they look beautiful, unlike the old ones that just looked boxy.
6. now im sick. and I may not be able to visit John this weekend when everyone goes up to drop off the aunt and go school shopping (we were going to hang out while they went shopping) but I can't go if im sick.
7. therefore, im going to be so I can get well.

and that's about it. 

<3

o.O

John might be visiting this weekend.

I really can't say anything other than I miss him like crazy (I know I've only actually met him once. But we've been good friends for a month now.) and he wants to talk to dad while he's up here.

really. I'm sort of excited and nervous at the same time. I miss him. but I'm also kind of terrified. I'll share a piece of a text convo between me and Victory:

 

Victory: "Girl…I just read the list. you're in trouble."

Em: "what list?"

Victory: "THE list."

Em: "Oh. yeah. THAT list. why am I in trouble?"

Victory: "because he IS the list!"

 

which is true. that's sort of intimidating. I mean, he even meets the requirements I wanted but didn't put on the list, like the color of his hair and eyes and how tall I wanted him to be and that little detail about being willing to wait for our first kiss until our wedding day (though I may have to settle for when I get an engagement ring because WOW coughchemistrycough. hm. ahem.).

so yeah.

teaching twelve children how to sew and bind books and knit and make jewelry this week. I'm losing my voice. sigh. I think I'll have to settle with three or four kids. maybe five. six max. if I ever hit seven, I'm hiring a nanny.

the weekend

okay. This weekend I met John. here's what happened.

Victory, the girlfriend I was staying with, decided it would be fun to publicly humiliate me by having John show up in one of the stores we were shopping in (because we were hanging out in the downtown area). I had a feeling she was going to bring me into a store with him waiting, or tell him where I was, or send me to go get something so I'd run into him. I was correct.

I was trying on dresses and I heard her talking on the phone with someone. she said something along the lines of "okay we'll meet and have lunch… see you in a few." I knew right away she was talking to him, telling him to come to the store we were in.

he came into the shop while I was still changing. I came out of the dressing room and our eyes met instantly. I recognized him, even though I'd never truly seen him before, because he looked right, he looked like what I thought he'd look like. maybe I'm a freak or maybe I'm clairvoyant, but I can see people in my head when I hear their voices. I can do it with singers too.

anyway. he said something about a picture of me not being adequate, everyone went "awwww" simultaneously and apparently I blushed (that wasn't embarrassing or anything…). I found out he has Number 26 down pat. we took him to lunch, and we spent the rest of the day hanging out together. then he came back with us to Victory's house. we played a retarded card game that made me want to murder Victory (don't ask me to play Mau ever again) and ate ice cream.

that evening, I was exhausted and overwhelmed. there were a lot of people, John was a lot sexier than I expected him to be (seriously? chemistry makes this even more complicated.) and there was a lot of noise. overwhelmed doesn't begin to describe it.

so I sat in the dark front room (in public, but it was a little more private than the kitchen table) and waited for him to come to me, because I knew he would, because he sees me. not like other guys who I'd have to text and say "can we hang out?" or "I need to talk to you" or "I need to be by myself for a while, I'll be right back" or "we haven't gotten a second to ourselves for the whole day and we have things to talk about. get over here." no, John sees me, he's very aware of me, he can read me and understand what's going on inside my head better than I do sometimes. so I went to the living room and waited for him to come.

he did. he sat with me, forced me to look him in the eye and talk to him (which I have a lot of trouble with, but he was patient) and then he asked my mom if he could take me on a walk.

at 9:00 at night.

I was thinking, 'mom is going to say yes. dad would say no, but mom would say yes.' she did say yes, so we went. he told her we'd be gone for thirty minutes.

we got back an hour and a half later.

no I'm not telling you what we did or said. I will say it was all appropriate and the second he got a little too close for my comfort I gave him a glare and a warning and he assured me he would honor me. He did. he did hug me though. that was nice.

we seem to lose track of time. we've talked on the phone for four hours before. once I was up until 3am on the phone. seriously, this just isn't making sense! and yet it seems to be a little too good to be true.

and that usually means it is.

anyway, we went to church together this morning, and we went to Starbucks after. We talked a lot, but then this jerk sat down right next to us and we could tell he was listening to us, so we left.

anyway. it was really nice. he's coming to my hometown soon and I'll meet his parents.

seriously can't wait to see him again.

and that, dear readers, is all the detail you'll get. for now.

maybe in the future if things turn out well, I'll type up one of my real diary entries…

distant future. like, five years from now. or fifteen.

he did make me a promise, though. one I feel like I can share. he told me he wouldn't kiss me until our wedding day. that means a lot to me. that was something I almost put on the list, but told myself that I could compromise on that if it were someone really amazing.

who would have thought I'd have found amazing and willing to wait for me? how special is that??

I let him borrow a few books from me: an encyclopedia of serial killers (he's a Criminology major and has morbid curiosities about violent people like I do) and Sonnets of the Portuguese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (which, if you haven't read that, you must. she's amazing and so romantic…). the fact that he borrowed love poems from me—and I had him pick from a stack of books, and he chose the sappy poems—makes me happy.

I'm going to try to get some sleep tonight. we'll see if it works.

So lately…

Haven't been able to write a lot, I've been busy. Here's the rundown of what's been going on lately:

On July 4th, John called dad. apparently they talked for almost two hours. It was just a little crazy. I mean, He's never even met me and he's talking to my dad. He's going to come to my hometown soon and talk to him in person.

Dad seems to like him. Specifically he said "he seems like an articulate young man." I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean, but I guess he isn't prejudiced against him.

Last night in church (I  wasn't there but I heard it from my sister Fish) he made a prayer request for wisdom because a guy wants to court me. he said something along the lines of "the phone call was scary for me, but hopefully it was scarier for him." I told that to John and he laughed. He told me later he wasn't scared but he did have to psych himself up to actually make the call.

he added me to his free minute loop on his phone, but it doesn't actually go through until August. So I'm going to try to keep our calls shorter so I don't use up all his minutes. I mean, talking from 9 to 1am every night isn't really helpful when you've got limited minutes and you're broke.

I get to see him saturday, and he wants to come to church with me sunday and take me out after worship service. I think it's really sweet. He really wants me to meet his parents, and I'd love to, but I also want to spend some time with Victory and her family. And I'm not going to actually get there until Friday at midnight-ish.

Now I'm going to pack for a while, and then make some demo projects for the class I'm teaching the week after next, and then maybe go to the gym and dance for a while… my feet hurt and my legs are twitchy.

So excited for this weekend.

I'm a criminal

stealing is illegal, right? well, I'm stealing internet from a random neighbor.

today mom and dad took us exploring. we ended up visiting a pottery studio and then going mini-golfing. I stayed in the arcade and took a nap while listening to THE HIGH KINGS and the family went outside and stood in the sun and hit balls into holes. whatever. I got to take a NAP and listen to BRIAN DUMPHREY. sigh.

also, sort of made a new friend. one of my Raleigh friends introduced me to him at one point. I added him on facebook and I posted on facebook something along the lines of "I'm bored, text me" and so he did. we've been talking ever since. idk how we've managed to be "friends" so long and not talk to each other or get to know each other. but sometimes it's best for some people to come into your life at certain times. God's got perfect timing.

anyway it was just funny because I am still attempting to get Jace out of my head (cndasofnvosadnovca) and I've been feeling very bored lately, and extremely lonely, and I prayed and asked God to send me a friend. I remember saying, "even a guy would be welcome at this point." (and you know how much I dislike guys)

enter John.

(We'll call him John anyway, just for the sake of it. I don't use anyone's real name on this thing anyway. Except Brad's because I never found out his last name and he isn't in my life right now anyway. and I don't really mention him anymore.)

but have no doubt, I think about him all the time.

More on John later. I need a shower. I spent the afternoon trying to avoid jellyfish at the beach.

<3

Back to snow

So it's 20 degrees outside, supposed to get to 18 tonight, supposed to be 12 tomorrow night. had snow today, supposed to have snow tomorrow too.

thing is, I used to think that 38 was cold. now 38 is like… "no sweater needed" kind of weather. 45 is "shorts and t-shirt go for a run" weather.

I got a good look at some snowflakes today. they fall like pieces of down from a blanket, and when you look at them, really look at them… they look just like they do in the storybooks. up close, the detail is incredible. and they're so small… and there's so many of them…

and every single one is different!

tell me again… whose idea was it that the world evolved from a cosmic soup?… stupids.

here's what I did today: since church was canceled and I couldn't drive in the slush anyway (because it warmed up to like 38 earlier so it kinda got messy outside…) I stayed in bed until like… 9:30. then I saw it was all white outside and I knew I couldn't sleep anymore. so I got dressed and went for a short walk around my dorm room in the snow and took some pictures (check fb for those of you who know me) and called my mom like… twice. because I was so excited. then I went back inside and made some oatmeal and worked on my new book for a while, then I packed up my stuff and headed off to *$ to study. then I ate lunch in the dining hall and went home (took a walk while I was at it) and knit some christmas presents. that was about it. pretty dull day.

oh yeah. the Freon is leaking out of my refrigerator… good thing that stuff isn't as toxic as some people say it is. dad said maybe it would be good for me… maybe it would fix my brain and I'd be normal… pfsh. Freon as treatment for insanity. I'd love to believe that…

but that would make the voices go away, and they keep me company when my friends decide not to hang out with me. they keep me sane.

the voices keep me sane. omigoodness.

totally random note: I just had the first regular 28-day cycle of my life. dead serious… maybe getting out of my lousy little town was better for me than I thought…

* *** * ** ** * * * * *** * *** * ** ** * * * * *** * *** * ** ** * * * * ***

* *** * ** ** * * * * *** * *** * ** ** * * * ** *** * ** ** * * * * ***

:)

<3

Danny Boy

Thursday was the first day of fall break :D I goofed off and was lazy and slept in but then went to the library and read my Bible for a while and tried to get stuff done. Didn't really get a lot done, but that's ok. Who cares, right? Went to lunch and saw Jace, so I ate with him and his roommate for a while. Went back to my room and looked at the new books I got that day in the mail… some awesome looking young adult hard-covers that'll eventually go to my local library.

that night i had a really horrible dream. i dreamed that there was an alien who was going around and killing students. it was a vampire alien. it would kill the roommate and then circle back and kill the one that was left when it was done with that hall. i decided, because i was smart, that i would kill it. so i went to my RA and told her to get a butcher knife from the kitchen and i got Jace to teach me how to shoot a gun. (idk if he actually knows how to shoot a gun in real life btw) so i fiddled with the light switch and made it motion activated, and put duct tape over one corner so it wouldn't turn on until the alien was close enough for me to kill it the first time the second the light turns on. so here i was thinking it would be hard to kill.

easiest thing i've ever killed in my life. (because of course in my dream i'd killed lots of stuff.)

anyway. the alien was scary. it looked like the one from Signs.

On Friday I went to the gym and danced en pointe (my sister brought me my 5 1/2 4X M shoes and they still have suede on the bottom!!! yay!) they felt SO DAMN GOOD IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!

sorry. shouldn't say that.

but really they did. it felt SO GOOD to be up on my toes again, over my arches and out of my feet. i did some echapes and some chase arabesques and some piques and such.

then i took a niiiiice hoooot shower in the gym.

while i was stretching, i listened to my music. i was listening and singing to Danny Boy by The Hunt Family… which is an awesome arrangement btw. beautiful and haunting, the way it should be. so i was singing it (i was alone in the studio) and later when i was in the dining hall, this guy kept looking at me. i ignored him (thanks to Voldemort, i'm good at that… don't you love my fake names! hah.) but later he passed me and was singing Danny Boy softly to himself.

Well, he was trying to get my attention. But when guys try to get my attention, i don't give it to them.

so i didn't ask and i just left.

i was gonna hang out with Jace but he left for some special magic game competition.

Saturday i didn't do much. Knit, read, ate in my room.

Today, I didn't have a ride to church so I sorta did the same thing: chilled and did nothing. But I went to the dining hall at about 6-ish because i REALLY wanted chocolate and it was too late to go to walmart and get some but i knew it would probably be dark by the time i got back. Jace was back from his thing so we talked for a while. i was so much in my "weird mode" from not socializing all week that i said some pretty wacky things. i was totally rambling. definitely made myself look like an idiot.

but then i'm ok with that, because i kinda am an idiot.

w/e.

he left and i stayed and finished my chocolate cup cake. <3 his roommate was still there so we talked for a while—i don't remember what about—but in the end he was flirting with me. i was like 'great. here we go again.'

i totally won our argument btw.

now i'm back in my room and working on my book. i love these characters! I put Derek and Jace in the book and it is turning out WAY better than if i'd left it the way it was before.

and that has been my weekend.

i have monday and tuesday left of break. i have several books to read, some articles to read, a test to study for, and a walmart trip to make… i think i can do it.

we'll see.

<3

ok slacker

i haven't written since tuesday. i feel guilty.

ok. wednesday not much happened… woke up early, got breakfast, went to *$ and read by Bible for a while, went to classes. i ate lunch with Jace (fun) and then i think i studied for a while.

thursday i had a test and then my dad and sister came up that evening. we ate dinner at Macalisters (or however you spell that) and then the next day…

friday morning i got up at 6:30 and got to the gym by about 7-ish. I worked out for about an hour and then showered, blowdried my hair (yes i know right… i'm insane) then headed to *$ to read and pray. I called mom and talked to her for a while too. she was like "who are you and what have you done with my daughter?" because see i am not usually one to get up earlier than i have to.

after classes on friday i went with dad and my sister to a tiny town out here, and then went to a bigger one. i got a buttload of yarn and a funny t-shirt that says,

I'll have a Cafe Mocha,
Vodka, Marijuana, Late
to go… please.

i laughed so hard, i had to get it. there was no walking out of that store without that baby.

then we went to walmart and stocked the fridge dad brought me.

funny story there: dad emptied the fridge but didn't clean it out. he opened it up in our room and i started gagging—i swear the thing had a colony of evolutionary atavists living in there. we got it out of there and cleaned it. he teased me because i handed him a bottle of spray cleaner that he gave me at the beginning of the year and it was still sealed… (WELL I HAVE NOTHING TO SCRUB! I DON'T HAVE A SINK OR MY OWN BATHROOM OR ANYTHING!—nvm. sigh.) anyway. we were being silly and witty and… well… normal… as normal as my family gets, and we managed to get my roommate cracking up. which i've found is honestly pretty easy as long as you're creative. she just doesn't talk much otherwise.

so we stocked the fridge. :)

now i'm catching up on blogging here (hence the post…) and winding the yarn i got, and gonna read some books.

and eat some oatmeal. yummmmmm :)

<3