and I feel awesome. This needs to be a regular thing.
Pilates: Hundreds, warm-up rolls, kick-overs, abs series, side series, swan, planks, plank pushups (5 of them…), teaser 1, teaser 2, seal
PT: hamstring curl, Hip ADduction, Hip ABduction, theraband exercises with ankles
Other: some arm pt, tennis ball in my shoulders
Jump Rope: none
I left Spheal's house at 8:15-ish yesterday morning, took the drive nice and easy, and then got into town at around 3. I went to my campus to the gym, took a shower, and went to picture day at my ballet studio. (I needed to have a staff picture taken.)
Then the studio owner (and my host for the next three weeks) took me and the photographers out to dinner for mexican, where I had a yummy quesadilla with extremely hot vegetables on it that I had to scrape off because I thought I was going to die there for a while.
Back at her house I met her dog Lassie (guess what kind of dog it was), her baby long-hair dashound named Kara (a vegan knock-off of chocolate, because the puppy is chocolate brown) and her hypo-allergenic cat named Grace. I have my own room in the basement (it's freezing, but they put a heater in here for me), and it's right next to the play room.
that's where her two kids are right now.
One is nine, I think the other is seven or six. they're both adorable, but they're definitely energetic. they're playing the drums and screaming singing right now.
also: they're vegan. which is awesome because they eat ONLY healthy stuff. and that's exactly what I need right now.
although I do really like cheese. Luckily the kids are only vegetarian and haven't taken the leap towards vegan yet.
I think I'm going to like it here.
Also: they drink tea. downside: they don't drink coffee.
I LIVE ON COFFEE. so I'm going to have to go to my storage unit and get my french press.
today we're going to the park for a picnic. the kids want to play Frisbee with me.
Stupdi is a word I made up (by accident). It means the same as stupid, but it's more of a silly kind of stupid.
Every trial has a reason and a lesson. I'm trying to figure out why God wanted me to sprain my ankle.
Possibly because I hate accepting things from people. I hurt myself because I didn't want to accept a ride home from Jasmine's boyfriend. Mind you, he was taking care of a sick drunk, and I thought it would be rude to leave his girlfriend alone with a guy who could throw up at any time, but still.
and now, I have one leg, and I'm screwed. I'm forced to accept people's help.
Or maybe it's something else. I don't know, I haven't figured it out yet. But I'm looking, because I feel like if I don't learn anything from this trial, it's a waste of my time.
my eyes suck at being eyes. they hurt so bad right now. plus my knee hurts, and my head hurts because the coffee hasn't hit my system yet, and I feel crabby because I miss the boy. good grief do I miss him.
sometimes I feel so good, like I'm on top of the world and ahead of the game because I studied, I finished my homework, I sold something on my etsy shop (called the yarn cat, btw. I won't link it for anonymity sake). or maybe I learned something new, like I learned something about my novel, or how to crochet or tat lace (all three of which happened recently).
other times, like today, I feel like a slacker because I got up at 11 only because I knew I had to take my meds at the same time every day to avoid my period coming three weeks early, and I've spent the past three hours browsing the interwebs, drinking coffee, eating a donut, and just being lazy.
plus, now, because my eyes suck at being eyes, and I've spent a while staring at a screen, my eyes hurt worse than they did when I woke up.
I want my glasses!!! they are being "processed" (whatever that means). I just hope they work—like, I hope I got all the numbers right.
Sis is sitting with me. apparently Jeff is mad at her—again—so she's hanging out with me.
I am procrastinating. I am supposed to be working on a makeup morgue.
I have a ton of books to read too.
I need to get working.
but all I want to do is brows etsy and work on my crochet squares. I think I'm going to make a little baby quilt. :)
John and his mother are coming to visit me next friday I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!!1
~em
well, we made it alive. we had to drop off one of Sis's friends in Charlotte, and we got stuck in traffic for an hour and a half. then it was raining. and on the last leg of the trip (about 2.5 hours) we both got food poisoning and had to pull over at a Harris Teeter and take a bathroom break.
C'est la vie.
or as John says it, Vie la C'est.
or as John accidently says it sometimes, Cie la Vey.
Whatever.
We got to John's house Friday night at about 11:30. Sis and I talked with him and his folks for a little while, and then they went to bed. John and I went upstairs and hung out until 2:30 in the morning, which was so much fun I can't even explain it. It was just so nice to sit and talk face to face (and, okay, he is so warm and soft and is an awesome hugger. and there may have been a kiss or two thrown in there too). we ended the night by watching Family Guy, which is his favorite tv show (in case you don't know what it is, it's so dumb, but it's hilarious.)
next morning John's mom and Sis and I went to Starbucks and got coffee (because she loves to dote on us) and then she showed us some of her really cool Christmas ornaments. then John and I took Sis to a MtG shop where she hung out for a few hours, and then we went downtown to a knitting shop, an antique shop, a tea shop, and a CHOCOLATE BAKERY. omg. he got me this yummy thing that idk what it was, chocolate covered cheesecake with cream and fudge or something. man it was yummy.
then we took Sis to the mall and walked around a little and looked at sweaters and I got really inspired.
then we left. that was the sad part. but Sis drove so I didn't have to.
we're finally back. now we're just chilling at home. I'm eating a microwaved chicken pot pie.
(some things never change)
dad is drawing. Sis and Joe (her guy friend) and Ears are playing magic. Fish is coming down with a cough. Mom is watching Holiday Inn upstairs.
And I am on my period exactly when I'm supposed to be. The birth control worked. I also didn't have ANY mood crashes this month, thanks to the anxiety meds. I have never been so happy to have a period.
Of course it's not exactly comfortable, so I'm not really enjoying myself, but I feel like a functional woman, and that's nice.
the only thing I have to do now is find some jeans that won't fall off. John wants to get me some for Christmas. I might let him. :)
He's coming up soon. in a few days. He'll spend some time here before Christmas, and then stay for the day-before-christmas-eve party, and then go home with his parents. and then the day after Christmas I'm going up there and visiting some family with them.
yay. this is going to be a fun Christmas.
also.
I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL FOR THE SEMESTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOSH I AM SO HAPPY.
that is all.
Thus far Thanksgiving has been pretty good. see the thing about breaks is… I love my family, but I don't like living with them. this has very little to do with them and most to do with the fact that it puts all six (or more) of us in a very small house and I just get overwhelmed. I have nowhere to be alone and recharge. Even now im sitting "alone" and I'm not really "alone." and I've found that if I don't have enough alone time I explode.
meaning school is stressful, and home is stressful. I feel like I have nowhere to go to actually have a break.
I can't wait for Christmas… but man am I dreading living at home for that long.
on the bright side, John is with us for the whole break, so I get to see him a lot. I'm so happy. I really am. it's been wonderful. I can hug him WHENEVER I WANT TO! that means a lot. I don't have to text him all day and tell him how much I miss him. because I don't. it's weird to NOT miss him.
I went to the doctor today. she gave me a prescription for birth control to help my periods stay regular, and some anxiety medication that I don't remember what it's called. John came with me. he sat in the waiting room tho, he didn't come in with me.
so then we went around town and chilled a little, which was nice, and got coffee, which was great, and sat together and talked and laughed for a while.
we decorated the tree tonight too. that was fun. except mom has a new puppy, a blue standard poodle (he's not really blue, he's grey, but they call them blue) and we're afraid that he'll break the nice ornaments, so we only put up about two thirds of them this year.
I miss school, but I don't want this break to end because I don't want to drop him back off and drive another five hours back to school.
on the bright side, I'll see him a lot over Christmas break, and that's only a few weeks away. so it won't be another month or six week fast from seeing him…
sigh.
okay tonight im not going to blog about John because im sure it's beginning to annoy everyone. now there's nothing wrong between us, but I need to write about other things.
1. school is INSANE. I have way too much to do. yet somehow or another im managing to get it all done.
2. the diet thing is going okay, I sort of do really well for about a week and then eat pizza, or a latte, or chocolate, and gain all the weight back again (I say all, I mean the half pound or the one percent I lost) so it's sort of okay but not really. I have a goal: I want to be able to fit into my black lace leotard by the end of the semester. I really hope I can meet that goal. because it's a pretty leotard. and I would really like to loose about 2 percent. that would put me about where I need to be for a dancer.
3. I have like eight knitting projects that im working on and I REALLY need to finish them….. gah. im making mittens for Jace (because I promised him I would) and mittens for Dylan (again, it was a request) and a scarf for John, and a hat for Mom, and a hat for Dad, and I haven't even figured out for Sis, or Fish, or Ears. I know what I want to make Victory, but I haven't started it yet, and I can't say what it is because she reads this blog :P
4. this morning when I got up it was 31 degrees outside. this brought me great joy. for someone who has very little body fat to keep her warm, I love the cold. of course this is somewhat problematic because I do get up at 6am every morning and work out, and it's pretty cold at 6am when the sun has been down for 10 hours… yah. brrrr. good thing I run inside!!
4. work is great right now, because I'm literally getting paid to make pottery. im supposed to be doing samples, and im taking pictures and making project sheets. I tutor ballet sometimes, but my students haven't been regular. and im doing a volunteer thing with the theatre… I get to work backstage for the costumes for Sweeney Todd. yay! I don't get paid, but It'll get me in with the faculty and hopefully make me some contacts… future internships? maybe.
5. thanksgiving is coming up and Sis and I are going back home. we're kidnapping John and we're going to make turkey and yams with marshmallows and cocoa and John and I will go for walks in the evening and it will be wonderful. I know that was a run-on sentence and I know im not capitalizing or punctuating anything but I don't care. :)
<3
there's a hurricane at my hometown. my folks have had no AC or electricity for almost a day now. im a bit worried about them, but I know they'll be alright.
last night sis and I went on a camping trip with the Baptist Campus Ministry. it was cool. I met some new people, showed off my awesome pocket knife to the guys (and they were like "dude, this is SICKKK.") and played some fun games.
but I was hot and dehydrated and I did NOT want to sleep out where bugs may be, so sis and I went home at about 11 and slept in our air conditioned rooms on supportive mattresses.
today I went to the gym and ran 2 miles. it felt awesome! and I have decided that starting monday, im going to get back into my regular routine. my body needs it and my soul needs it too.
(this consists of getting up early to run, probably outside as the weather is still nice, then going to the gym for PT, then coffee and breakfast and bible study with sis.)
I miss John. he called me on friday for like two or three hours (my dad is going to flip because I know it'll show up on the phone bill) because he couldn't talk to me much the past week.
He's seriously considering transferring to my school next fall.
AND THE HORRIBLE THING THAT HAD HAPPENED TO HIM THAT WASN'T HIS FAULT? IT'S ALL OVER. some of you know exactly what I mean, and for those of you who don't? essentially someone got him in trouble for something he didn't do and it was keeping him from getting a job and getting into school. and now it's over and done with. it's such a relief!
going to shower and then explore the downtown area with sis.
<3 :)))
ps as you can tell, im not telling you what I eat for a while. I haven't quite gotten my self discipline back yet ;)
Worked out this morning. if you can call it that. I ran four laps and stretched. it took 15 minutes. but by the end of the fall semester, I'll be working out two to three hours every morning. I'm just really weak right now.
classes today weren't really classes, they were more like "meet the teacher and read the syllabus" day. so that's what we did. I have one of my favorite teachers for English. he's very funny. he was born in the wrong century, he should have been born in England in the 18th century. because that's where he fits in… and yet he makes Monty Python jokes and accepts cultural event reports about Zombie Walks. I'm taking a ballet class and helping the teacher in part of another dance class. I'm excited :D
John called me for a few minutes around lunch. he really missed me and I told him I had some time, so we chatted for a little while. I miss him.
later this afternoon I went to starbucks and tried to work on one of my books, but it wasn't working so I gave up and facebooked John for a while, but then facebook wasn't working so I gave up on that. so I went to the cookout behind our dorm and attempted to eat a crappy hamburger and failed miserably (I hate about half a bite) and sat there opening and closing my knife that John gave me (yes, he gave me a knife. dumb, right?). then who should show up but Jace!
and let me tell you. it's so much easier to be just a friend to guys when you've got another guy on your mind.
now I can still appreciate beauty. Although Jace chopped off all his hair and shaved his beard so he looks completely different—still attractive, but different— still handsome, but not quite as sexy as he was with a head of blond curls. I threatened to kill him. so he took away my knife.
anyway, he loves speaking french and I have to study french so we're going to hang out and study french together. I hope. because that would be awesome.
the only thing I'm worried about is this… I need to make some new friends this year because Sarah and Katie and Jace and a lot of other people I know are graduating in the spring, and I won't have any friends left :( so I need to make some new friends.
so for food this week, I'm focusing on boosting my metabolism. I'll eat well too, but more than anything I'm trying to get the metabolism up. so don't kill me for eating pizza.
Breakfast: 3/4 cup oatmeal, little cinnamon, 1 tsp wheat germ, 1/2 cup whole milk. this is nasty. I didn't realize wheat germ tasted nasty by itself. but its good for me so I'm going to eat it anyway. ew. I only ate half of it.
snack: Naked Acai berry drink. almost the whole thing. basically that's two days worth of fruit. I love that stuff.
lunch: Natural crunchy Peanut butter and strawberry preserves on french bread. yum! (and water.)
snack: a few triscuit's
late snack: small 3-meat pizza. and the rest of my chocolate cake. and okay, a starbucks drink. I sort of lost it about 5:00.
First of all, no I'm not starving myself.
but I am going to try to go back on my dance diet.
this involves eating about six or seven small meals a day and consuming almost 3000 calories. so again, not starving myself. losing weight, yes hopefully, but not starving myself. I don't want to hear any "Emily, you're going to kill yourself!" or "Emily I'm going to make you eat food!" or "Emily you look so skinny you're going to die!" or "Emily you're underweight!"
because, by the way, a Body Fat Percentage of 11 would be underweight. I'm aiming for 14 as opposed to…whatever I am now, which I actually don't know.
Anyway. I don't want to hear it. that's the stuff that made it fail last time.
Im thinking I'm going to post what I eat on this blog, for accountability. It'll force me to not sneak in chocolate cake too often (yes there will occasionally be some chocolate cake or Ben and Jerry's. it's a must-have during that time, which John refers to as "ravenholm." I'll explain that later.)
which, by the way, he's the only guy I've ever met who will openly ask "are you on your period? do you need extra hugs? can I get you anything?" he's so sweet and considerate like that. and he doesn't feel awkward when I complain about cramps or grumpiness. that right there makes him super special.
he gave me chocolate when I visited him (not Tuesday, but the other weekend when I took Sis to the MtG shop.) it made me immensely happy.
and I think he's going to give me flowers for my birthday because he was sort of hinting at it. ive never gotten flowers from anyone but my dad. it would be really nice to get flowers…
okay yes I'm totally in love with him.
back to the subject at hand.
My goal is 120 with a BFP of 14. Last time I hit 122 with a BFP of 14.8, and that took a little over a month, but I only recorded about 3 weeks of it.
We'll see if it works. It'll keep me blogging regularly at least!!
School starts tomorrow. so excited, but a little nervous :)
