death to the Diary.

Yes, it's true. The Diary is dying. I am retiring it.

I've gone on quite a journey with the Freakish Diary, and I have seem my life change before my eyes.

I will still blog, though. I'm starting a new blog called Fighting with Lindsay, about my characters.

please come visit me there.

Thanks.


Love,
Haley.

I have a stomach ache and I'm pretty sure it's from the on campus food.

my life thus far

So I've been really bad about writing this summer. Here's a rundown:

1. Spheal and I are fine... but miss each other terribly

2. I'm teaching three nights a week at two studios, for a total of 7 classes, plus my own classes which I take and give to myself. yay!

3. I've also gotten my jump-rope stamina up to a few minutes rather than twenty seconds. Now I'm working on prolonging the higher heart rate.

4. Mom and Fish came to visit for a weekend... that was fun, but very tiring. 

5. Dad might come and visit us some time this semester. I do miss him, and I am looking forward to it, but I also sort of dread it. It's not that I don't love him, it's just that some of his actions towards me have made me irritated with him lately.

6. I still like lists just as I did before

7. I still hate the joke that is campus dining, this time more than before

8. I want so badly to dance and write and craft all day, but I have stupid school to worry about.

9. I've lost enough weight to fit into the vintage dress I bought at an antique store this summer, but not enough for it to be comfortable. Got a few more pounds to lose. Of course I don't know how much I weigh, because I got rid of my scale due to my constant fixation on my weight. (aka I left it at  home)

10. I can't express to anyone how badly I want to see my Spheal right now. Last night I simply burst into tears because I miss him so much. I'd do just about anything to sit with him, see his smile, hold his hand. Forget the rest. I just need to be there with him, but he's six flipping hours away.

c'est la vie, i guess.

here's to shitty cereal and chicken patties with a side of wheat germ,

~Em

this warrants a "wtf?"

we started off dancing. 

One of my students was there. she was doing so well. we were all dancing, and then suddenly, the ground was shaking, and we heard a terrible sound, like giant footsteps. For some reason I was holding a baby.

then the building crashed in around us.  a giant ugly monster wanted the baby's eye lashes. then the baby and I changed from people to planets. the huge dino-monster tried to blow us up.

suddenly it was as if I was playing a videogame and was outside of it all. my mom was trying to teach me how planets can explode or be absorbed. then we were talking about life expectancy, and she wanted me to live for a long time so she gave me some pills. the first set made my heart bigger, the second set gave me more blood, the third set made me grow, etc. finally i felt sick and said something along the lines of "i'm tired of this experiment, I understand lifespan, can we call it quits?" and she was like "oh fine." so I went to the bathroom and forced myself to throw up, but I couldn't. the last thing I remember thinking before waking up was "I really shouldn't have eaten Jupiter."

Went to an audition for nutcracker. It feels so hopeless. I will never be who I want to be... Not until heaven. Then I can dance.

Got the teaching job I wanted, but left my computer cord there. spheal and I spent a great week together. School starts in a week. Can't wait! Senior year!

Got a gorgeous new phone. It brings me great joy. Its $100 full price but the guy gave it to me for $30 because they were out of the one I wanted :p

blahhh

my period came early.

I have a yeast infection.

my lymph nodes in my neck and chest are swelling up and I don't know why, but it hurts to swallow and I can't turn my neck.

and today I strained my back.

I owe my university money but I can't figure out how, when, or where to pay it and if I don't do it by tomorrow they'll drop all my classes.

and I miss my boyfriend.

sigh.

the good news is I just got paid, and it was a good hefty amount! the bad news is it'll probably all be gone by the time I have to go back up to school…

New favorite treat: sundried tomato bagel with cream cheese from DD.

Refilling a RX shouldn't be this complicated.

Just read for two hours from three different books because every time i started reading, it was sad. Tonight is just a bad night for light-hearted reading!

updates

1. I suck at blogging lately because I don't have internet where I'm living.
2. my plans changed and my ballet camp got canceled so I spent a week with spheal instead, during which we made a few major changes to our relationship.
3. I'm working for my dad again… and I swear this is the last year I will do so. it's been one week and I already want to kill someone. and I'm not even living at the house!
4. I'm crocheting a sweater. I finished the sleeves yesterday. today I'm going to put it together and tomorrow I'm going to wear it to church…
5. Sunday, Spheal is coming to visit for the day. I can't wait!!!!
6. I have a yeast infection and I WANT TO KILL SOMETHING. GAH. also I can't use the cream because it hurts my skin. stupid sensitive skin.
7. I'm going into carb  withdrawl because mom is on a diet that's mostly protein, while I as a dancer need to eat mostly carbs. it's difficult. my head hurts. I'm feeling sluggish.
8. I might have another dancing job opportunity. updates soon.
9. my class schedule is finally getting cleaned up because my professor is finally emailing me back.
10. my intenship is almost finished. just some paperwork I have to do.

now I'm off to work to clean and paint and stuff… and hopefully my headache will go away soon :(