I love my daddy :)

My daddy is awesome. he's sweet and funny and ridiculous and I adore him. I just wanted to say that.

that's it. :)

<33333

characters

ended up writing a memoir about my characters Michael, Lezlianne, and Brett and a little of Lindsay. that was the most important story anyway. And Michael is the best character—he doesn't think so but that's what makes him so charming—and I adore him and he adores me.

going home for spring break. really excited. mom and dad are sending me gas money. othewise I'd be stuck here reading and doing nothing.

retarded. re.tar.ded.

I have to write a memoir for class. memoir? really? because I've experienced so much in my life. I mean I have. I could write about being a stupid depressed teenager. I could write about ballet. I could write about voldemort! but I really don't feel like it. I don't want to revisit that stuff and I don't want to share it with anyone. I don't want to write about the voices or the hallucinations or anything. but I have to write about something. it has to be 750-1000 words.

maybe summer camp? or when I was little and doing gymnastics? I dunno. I just don't want to write about the depression or the stupid boy.

So apparently…

Well. Let's start with Thursday night.

Thursday night my roommate came in with a friend of hers right before I was getting into bed. she said it was an emergency because her friend's boyfriend cheated on her. so they got ready to go out and get drunk (her friend's words—I… plan on making out with…someone…tonight. Don't care who. If he had fun, I deserve to have fun.).  right before they left, my roomie told me "oh, my boyfriend's coming Friday."

so I assumed it was yesterday Friday. or let's pretend it's Thursday: I assumed "oh he's coming tomorrow."

anyway, I hauled all my stuff up to the common's room and slept there (4th floor!) because I didn't want to sleep in a room with a man in there. I had texted her and asked if he could stay somewhere else and she was like "it's not my friend's job to host him, and we can't pay for a hotel. we're not going to do anything we're just going to sleep." anyway I slept in the commons room: by the way: did you know the lights are motion activated? did you know I toss and turn when I sleep? did you know I lost circulation about a dozen times because I was trying not to move and set off the motion sensor?

I had a sucky night.

came home this morning and they weren't in. either they left—and took his stuff?—or she meant next Friday. I'll have to ask her again.

if it is next Friday, I'm going to be prepared and contact my church and see if I can spend the night at someone's house that weekend. I'm not sleeping in there, and I don't ever want to have to sleep in a common's room again.

motion activated lights? really??

and my dream! omigoodness! I dreamed I was one of my characters, and I had this amazing knife (she throws knives at people. she doesn't like guns. she likes knives!!!! bwahahaha!!! sorry.) that was like a foot and a half long, and it could slice through bone like butter. I dreamed I took a slice out of someone's head like cutting a piece of cake. and decapitations? fun stuff.

ok that wasn't morbid at all. does that say something about me? or was it just a bad idea to write a fiction novel about a crazy Russian assassin right before bed?

on the bright side, I've been teaching this girl extra ballet classes, and she's doing really well. I'm remembering how much I love teaching!

minor random awkward detail: I found an AMAZING push-up bra on sale at walmart, and it makes me actually look like I have some shape up top! and it was only eight dollars! I'm going back today for another one. and for some milk. I'm out of milk. I can't make cocoa or oat meal or cereal without milk.

and potatoes. might need more of those. I've been eating baked potatoes (made in the microwave) with all sorts of fixings on them for dinner each night, because it's cheap and healthy. and the food in the dining hall makes me sick.

and I'm going to try to sell my block meals. we'll see how that goes.

I don't ramble at all.

<3

ok. hate over.

so we all do stupid things, right?

right.

apparently, one of voldemort's friends got his phone and was the one who texted my sister things he shouldn't have said. that means he's not as horrible as I thought he was, and I can't hate his guts anymore. because see, other than that, I had no reason to hate him. because I was as much as a jerk for ignoring him as he was for ignoring me.

feels good to let of of stuff.

feels good to know I won't have to tie him to a chair and cut his eyeballs out when I get home for the summer!!!

<3